Delivery Diaries: The Podcast
Delivery Diaries: The Podcast
Honoring Breast Cancer Awareness Month: Overcoming Grief, Surviving a Postpartum Cancer Diagnosis & Miracle Milo
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and we are recognizing all the mamas out there who are currently beating cancer, have survived it and to those who have lost the battle.
In this episode we honor Elizabeth Anderson. She’s a painter and is currently an arbitration coordinator and family services administrative assistant at the Clark County Superior Court in Washington State. Most importantly she’s a 20-year-breast-cancer-survivor.
Flo introduces us to her friend, this amazing human being who has triumphed through most of life’s circumstances in two years than what people would have to go through in a lifetime: marriage, miscarriage, pregnancy, car accident, preeclampsia, c-section, her dad dying, brother-in-law dying, moving homes, cancer, lumpectomy, chemo and radiation treatment. Yet her motto was ‘Just keep swimming, just keep swimming’
If you or a loved one are going through something that seems unbearable to overcome than we invite you to listen to Elizabeth’s words of wisdom, yes, she has a checklist just for you. Through it all, she says, for her, cancer was a gift. She made peace with dying and celebrates each trip around the sun. Perhaps that why she was dubbed ‘a ray of sunshine’ in the episode. You’ll hear why.
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Flo Speakman: One of the reasons I wanted you on the show is because your journey to family is, in my opinion, unique. you are the only person I know who went through what you went through.
So you had this fairly eventful pregnancy and then well, I'll let you tell it like so, you know, so. You know what to start at the beginning cuz we had a little conversation and you had, you know, and you had talked
Elizabeth Anderson: when I seen I do it big, right? So,
Flo Speakman: Right. Yeah. When you do anything, you do it big. That is true.
Elizabeth Anderson: Yeah. It just comes off that way. Um, I have a couple disclaimers. The first is, I have one child. My child is trans. , he's 21. He came out two years ago. Um, I'm fully a hundred percent on board. Not a problem. the trickiest thing as a mom is when you've had 19 years of your child being one gender and two years, another gender going forwards is super simple going with the [00:01:00] him, he, him, Um, sometimes the baby stuff and up till, I don't know, the younger years, you still think as, you know, the assigned female at birth as my daughter.
So if I mess up in pronouns, forgive me, I'm working on it still. But that's disclaimer number one. And the second one is, I will, I, when I went through breast cancer, I learned a lot about it. And, I think I still have a lot of, of good, relevant knowledge. I'm not a doctor and my information, a lot of it is still 20 years old.
So take it or leave it. Do your own research. I'll tell you what I can, what I know what I don't know, but just remember that I went through my journey 20 years ago, not today. So those are my disclaimers.
Flo Speakman: That's awesome.
You know, I love Milo, he's the best. So anyway. All right, so let's get started. like early in your, in, in your marriage. You, you got pregnant. and was I old? Yes. I got married at let's is, you know mm-hmm. , I got married [00:02:00] at 38. Um, went off, the pill immediately actually everyone's like, Oh, you've been on it so long, you'll have a hard time getting pregnant. Oh no. Right at the gate, I was pregnant, like December. Um, had a miscarriage in February, got pregnant three months later. Right around Mother's Day. I remember that was really terrifying because once you've had a miscarriage and you get pregnant again, everything is scary. but. Had a very easy first trimester. Never, ever, had, the morning sickness or anything like that. kind of breezed through everything until the third trimester, and then I had gestational diabetes. I had preeclampsia, had to go on bed, rest. my husband at the time when we were getting towards delivery, he's, he'd say, um, you know, you're gonna have to have a C-section. And I'm like, Yeah, I know. I know.
Brandy Breth: He knew, He knew right away,
Elizabeth Anderson: Everything's kind of going wrong. That could go wrong. Yeah. Yeah. And sure enough, we, we know [00:03:00] when I was in labor, we went to the hospital and the first thing he asked the nurses is, You're gonna have to have a C-section. And she's like, Well, darling, why would you think that? No, everything looks great. C-section. Yeah.
Brandy Breth: What was your thoughts about that? I mean, obviously you're like, Yes, of course. Did you have any concerns or, Oh, darn, I don't get to give vaginal birth. I don't know, like what else came in?
Elizabeth Anderson: I just wanted a healthy baby.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
Elizabeth Anderson: You know, whatever we need to do to get a healthy child that was fine.
Brandy Breth: That was, Yeah, my birth, my birth plan was Healthy baby. Healthy mommy. Yeah. After looking at a lot of my friend's birth plans, , that's what I, my conclusion was. Totally.
Elizabeth Anderson: Yeah. Let's just do this. when I finally had Milo, I was like six weeks before I turned 40, so Yeah. Old mom, so old mom
we're like, happy birthday.
Flo Speakman: Yep.
Brandy Breth: Yeah. Yeah.
Flo Speakman: So, so, so you definitely had geriatric pregnancy all over your [00:04:00] chart?
Probably, yeah. Did they call maternal age? Geriatric pregnancy?
Brandy Breth: I know we just, Elizabeth, phenomenal doctor. That's what, yeah. Where did you, um, where were you, where did you live at the time I gave birth at, Swedish Hospital, downtown Seattle. An absolutely fabulous doctor. She's retired now. and Providence took over Swedish, They, they were great. For the most part. Everything went fine. there's always the bumps in the road, how was your, um, hospital stay after the cesarean, after the C-section? Cuz you went through major surgery? How did you feel?
Elizabeth Anderson: Well, I was, . Okay. Um, mm-hmm. ,
Brandy Breth: That's what I asked
Elizabeth Anderson: It was a while ago. Let's see. Yeah. Because of the preeclampsia. And I'd also been in a car accident at seven months. And so from that point on, I was having contractions. Like they'd come really quick and they'd say If you have more than five in an hour, you have to immediately come to the hospital.
Well, I'd have [00:05:00] time where I'd have like four, but then they'd stop. So towards the end, we were making all these tips to the hospital, cuz we thought it was time. And we'd just come back like the night before and they, they're like, Oh, there's no way you're leaving without this baby. We're like, Okay. We call my folks, they come down, everyone's on board, and then three hours later, no be going home.
Brandy Breth: Oh my God. Oh gosh. Okay.
Elizabeth Anderson: So the next morning around seven, I started contractions by about five o'clock. So we go back Finally had an epidural. They had a really hard time getting the epidural in. they blew four veins. It was excruciatingly painful. That was the worst part. So tip number one, get your, um, IV put in as soon as you get there so you're not dehydrated. Don't wait until epidural time.
Flo Speakman: Um,
Brandy Breth: That is helpful to know. everything was kind of progressing and then my contractions stopped. So they're like, Okay. my contractions weren't strong enough to push the baby out. Mm-hmm. , I was, so they gave me Pitocin, which instead of making [00:06:00] them stronger, stop my contractions.
Slowed down yeah.
Elizabeth Anderson: So then they're like, Okay. Guess what C-section and he was stuck. So c-section time. Yeah. So anyway, we went in.
Brandy Breth: Okay. I had pause on that. Hold on. Rewind cuz we went straight into birth, which is totally fine. But did you say you had a car accident at seven months? Cause that's part of your prenatal. I'm thinking. Oh, prenatal. How is your prenatal? How did you feel? . Okay, so obviously you're okay. Milo's okay. Everyone's okay. So, but the but the car accident, I mean you don't have to just share what you wanna share, but then the contract you started having con Yeah. Contractions after that. Okay.
Elizabeth Anderson: So I lived in the small neighborhood it's like the day before Thanksgiving and I was outta Brown sugar I think. And I had to go to the store to get some, and we live near a high school and it was one of those, um, older neighborhoods where like every other street is a stop sign. Mm-hmm. And so I'd stopped and I started to go and this kid, I guess had forgot his homework, had run home and was [00:07:00] racing to get back to class and didn't see me and hit me
I wasn't that far from home. There was a hospital right down the street.
Okay.
Called my husband, got to the hospital, they had me monitored for several hours, um, whatever. It was all fine. ,
Brandy Breth: when I'm, I'm only laughing because everyone's good now, but I mean, who would've think, who would've thought, I don't know what the, Yeah. Okay. So that's good to know. Everything was okay right away you get to the hospital. Okay. But then after that was
Elizabeth Anderson: To me that was a tiny fraction of story. It's like really the car.
obviously, it didn't do anything to your pregnancy, but did you say you had contractions or you thought you felt you had contractions after?,
Elizabeth Anderson: So they monitored me for several hours because, oh, that's, from that point on, I started, I started having them occasionally and they would come frequently. And so then it was sort of like, okay, let's just get you as far into the pregnancy as you can. We don't want the baby to come too soon. And he was born exactly three weeks early.
Brandy Breth: Oh, okay.
Elizabeth Anderson: With the [00:08:00] day. So, yeah. Got it. That's
Flo Speakman: funny. Cause Audrey was two, three weeks early. Yeah. But no car accident. Well that seems like never a dull moment cuz then you're, now you're fast forward.
All right.
Brandy Breth: And so you went through the Pitocin and this is actually, Thank you for sharing this again. I actually say thank you because we have our listeners and our viewers, gonna be learning about Pitocin. I learned about Pitocin, um, from another friend that went through it. and her story that I interviewed. So it's like, Moms. Moms -to-be, spouses partners are gonna be learning all this language.
Elizabeth Anderson: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Breth: So that's great to have it in detail.
Elizabeth Anderson: Well, and is the drugs they should give you if
Brandy Breth: mm-hmm.
Elizabeth Anderson: they need to start contractions
Flo Speakman: And, and for you it just stopped.
Elizabeth Anderson: I just happen to be con contrary to things. So
Flo Speakman: knowing you the way that I know you, that does not surprise me. okay, so you're in the hospital, you've just had a C-section, you have beautiful baby. how long were you in, four days.
Brandy Breth: So you lo Yeah. You stretch it out. [00:09:00] Yeah. You used the whole four days. Yeah.
Elizabeth Anderson: And you need an advocate. And my husband would go home so he could get nice sleep and I wasn't getting much sleep. they put me on morphine during it. so he was born at six 20 in the morning and took till about seven for them to stitch me up. I finally get to meet him when we go back to my room. Um, and I'm just getting really out of it. as time goes on, they're like, Okay, we're gonna move you out of the birthing room to a hospital room. And they move me and doctors and nurses are talking to me and they're telling me things. And it just seemed like they were words going over my head.
And I, I'm fine to grab them and I'm like, This is important. This is, this is really important stuff. This is about my baby. And I, and I can't grab these words. I can't, I can't hold onto them. And, um, I just felt really odd. And by about five o'clock that night, I could feel myself stopping to breathe, literally stopping breathing.
And I [00:10:00] buzzed the nurse. my husband had fallen asleep on the, the sofa thing in the room. she came in and I said, I don't have enough oxygen. I'm not breathing properly. And she's like, Oh, well, you know, whatever, let's do some tests. And I'm like, No, I'm telling you I'm not breathing enough. Well, I have to do tests.
So she does her tests. She's like, Oh my gosh, you're not breathing enough. You need oxygen. Yeah, before oxygen. So, um, she puts me on oxygen and I'm just feeling awful. Seven o'clock the night nurse comes in, takes one look at my chart and goes, Good lord, lady, why are you still on morphine? I'm like, I don't know.
She goes, she goes, They should have taken that out after like, I don't know, an hour. Yeah. And as soon as she took it out within like 15 minutes, I was fine. I thought I was losing my mind. It was the worst thing. And so to this day, I'm like, I put on all my doctor chart. Do not give me morphine. I don't care what you do to me. I do not want morphine.
they should have taken me off and they didn't.
Brandy Breth: Yeah. That was the problem.
Elizabeth Anderson: But that's right. I [00:11:00] was just like in, I wasn't breathing right. I was just, It was awful.
Brandy Breth: Yeah. And you just gave birth and you have all these hormones and everything else in your, in your whole soul system.
Elizabeth Anderson: So who, even if hubby wants to go home and sleep at night, someone needs to stay in the hospital with you and be an advocate because night nurses are very grumpy and all kinds of things can happen. And it's important to have someone with you.
So, got outta the hospital and got home Was recovering and the following week, my mom came down to visit to help out and she called me when she got home and she said, Something's wrong with your dad.
when I left, he was in his pajamas and my dad would get up and he'd make his coffee and he'd go do something. He'd tinker in the garage or whatever. He was always doing something. Um, and when she got home that night, cuz we were an hour and a half away, he was still in his pajamas and hadn't moved.
Elizabeth Anderson: And so something's wrong with your dad. I, I don't know if he's had a stroke or what's going on, but something's happened. So she took him to a doctor. They did some [00:12:00] scans and they found that he had, um, a geo blastoma, which is a brain tumor, it was in the middle of his brain. they said, Well, it's probably operable.
We don't do that at Pier. They were in more of a small town area. He should go to Seattle. Um, they can do more there. So when my baby was two weeks old, we companied my mom and some friends to take my dad to Seattle to meet with a, oncologist. And this guy walked in the room, didn't say hello to us, through my dad's scans up on the board and said, Well, you know, he's gonna die.
Brandy Breth: Oh my God. And it was just like, No, we don't know that we were told that this was, operable. No, it's not operable. didn't examine my dad nothing, so I'm losing it. Everyone's mm-hmm. . Um, and we got a second opinion. It was very difficult. Um, but my dad passed away four months later.
Mm. [00:13:00] And then a month and a half after that, my husband's brother passed away unexpectedly. So it was quite the first year. 14th when he was born, um, dad died in May. Jerry died in July. and our little house in Ballard was getting too small. And we looked for new house and we just bought a new house.
It was brand new. And the Friday before we were gonna move, um, well, no, before that, a couple weeks before you wanted to know how I discovered my breast cancer. Mm-hmm. . And I was just putting my pajamas on at night, and as I was putting 'em on my hands brushed across my breast and I felt the lump. And I'm like, What?
Flo Speakman: Right. But, And you were breastfeeding at the time, right? I was still breastfeeding, yeah. So, So it could have been anything, could have been the clogged duct. Could have been, Yeah.
Elizabeth Anderson: No, it was not a clogged deck. I knew I wasn't had a clogged duct before, but Okay. Um, so I'm like, no, it's, it's not a clo deck. But I went to the doctor right away and her [00:14:00] nurse came in and said, It's a clogged duct. And I'm like, No, it's not a clogged duct. I've had a duct. It hurts like hell. This is not a clogged duct. Mm-hmm. , um, this is something else. She's like, Well, I'm gonna give you some antibiotics.
I said, Okay. So, and it was about two and a half inches long. So she put me in antibiotics and it shrank a good inch. And then I had a follow up appointment with my doctor and saw my actual doctor. She goes, We have to have biopsy. Okay. And I'm like, No, it was obviously an infection. It's gone down. She's like, No, no, no. If there's a lump in your breast, it's gonna be, Oh, come on.
Brandy Breth: So you went from like, No, this is not a clogged duct, this is something else to, Oh, it went down a little. So I don't need a biopsy. , there's a lot of emotions going on, like how
Elizabeth Anderson: it's gonna be fine, right?
Brandy Breth: Yeah, yeah. Um,
Elizabeth Anderson: everybody was,
Brandy Breth: And how, I'm sorry. how long were you par postpartum again?
months, 14 months. 14. 14, sorry. 14.
Elizabeth Anderson: It was Oh, wow. Okay. Year after. Yeah. Yeah. So this was [00:15:00] 2002.
Brandy Breth: Got it. So, um,
Elizabeth Anderson: The about breast cancer. Breast cancer tumors are normally very bumpy on the outside, so when a doctor feels them, they can feel ridges and bumps. Okay. Mine was smooth like a Riverstone. When they did an ultrasound and other stuff and they, they were taking images, they're like, No, this is not cancer. I mean, they were, they were 99% sure. The doctors who did the imaging that it was not cancer, they told my surgeon this. Wow. Because it was so smooth, it was not.
Mm-hmm. informed to what cancer looked like. Um, but the biopsy came back and my surgeon called and I was, had just finished breastfeeding Milo and he'd fallen asleep in my arms and my phone rangs. So I'm like, Grab it real quick so that the baby doesn't wake up and it's Dr. Lee. And she said, I can't believe I have to tell you this, but I got the results back and it is cancer.
Brandy Breth: [00:16:00] Wow.
Elizabeth Anderson: And I'm like, Okay, all right. Um, okay. And I'm just, we're moving the next week. Everything's in boxes. My husband was supposed to go to Europe to work the following week right after we moved. Um, it was just a big
Flo Speakman: It was a lot.
Elizabeth Anderson: It was, yeah.
Brandy Breth: Yeah. All these plans and now bam.
Elizabeth Anderson: Mm-hmm. it, it was a lot. Yeah. So, um, it was a Friday afternoon and I called my husband and told him, and he just now, my dad had just died. His brother just died. Mm-hmm. . And now I have a cancer that, so I was most worried about telling my mom. So I actually called. Some friends of hers that live close by and I said, Hey, this is what's going on.
Can you please go to her house? So she's not alone when I call and tell her this. Oh. And they said, Sure. So they went over and they were there with her when I told her. So that was good. Um, and at that point [00:17:00] we didn't know what stage, we didn't know anything until they, you know, got in there to, to find out.
Um, so what next? Uh, surgery. So right. Surgery,
Okay.
Brandy Breth: Well, I don't wanna, Well, let's not skip over, right. Like how did, how you reflect, like the emotions of it. I get it. Like, this is a very matter of fact. This is great timeline stuff. Mm-hmm. . But, um, how, like, what were you faced with? What did, what was in your head? What was going on in your head? Like I. Like, was you afraid that your, you know, Milo was taking in something that you're nursing? Were, were you afraid of like, like what was the whole process
Elizabeth Anderson: that didn't
Brandy Breth: feedback?
Elizabeth Anderson: Okay. Um, when I first felt the lump, that first night was the hardest, cuz I felt like, oh my gosh, I waited all my life to have a child.
Brandy Breth: Mmm.
And I have a lump and this, this sucks and I don't know what's gonna happen [00:18:00] with it, but I felt this presence just say it's gonna be okay. And so I thought that meant I don't have cancer. And so when I found out it was cancer, I was kind of like, Wait a minute, you said it's gonna be okay. But I realized later it was okay. I had cancer, but it's still okay. Here I am, you know? Mm-hmm. So, I don't know, you just. put one foot in front of the other and you do the best you can. And after that,I made a decision that we're all gonna die, right? Mm-hmm. , I know I'm gonna die. We're all gonna die. Mm-hmm. And if it was my time to die, then okay. Mm-hmm. , But until I knew for sure I was gonna fight it tooth and nail as best I could, cuz that was what I could do. Mm-hmm. So there's that element of what I can't control and what I can control, [00:19:00] and that's what I worked with.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm. , so. Got it. So then you had choices or once you found out, Oh, when did you find out what kind of cancer it was.
Elizabeth Anderson: Well now, um, so this is another thing I think that's important to know. there's two basic kinds. There's ductal carcinoma in ctu, D C I S. Mm-hmm. , which is a lump that is not gonna spread. Is it cancer? Yes. But it's the good kind of cancer, cuz it's not gonna kill you. It can turn into the bad kind of cancer. So you still need it taken care of. But if you get a diagnosis of breast cancer, that's an important distinction. The bad kind is infiltrating ductal carcinoma because it's gonna infiltrate your body. That's where it's gonna spread. It can metastasize. Mm-hmm. so they don't know until they go in there and pull it out and then they, slice it all up and see what it is. I ended up with, D C I S with infiltrating ductal [00:20:00] carcinoma inside in three places. So I had, I had both. when they do the surgery, they need to test your lymph nodes because mm-hmm. , the only way it can spread from your breast is through lymph nodes. That's the, the filtration system. So they used to go in and take all of your lymph nodes from that side, the entire thing. The problem with that is it can lead to lymphedema, which is arm swelling and things like that. Mm-hmm. . So you're taking this huge cluster of lymph nodes for this whole side when you may only need three or five or seven or something like that.
So they developed this procedure before. I know a couple years before I had mine where they would inject your nipple four times with radioactive dye. Boy. Oh, I
Brandy Breth: thought baby was biting on your booby was hard. That's
Oh, yeah, Yeah. And then you have to sit there for a couple hours while, while this spreads.
So then it's happening. [00:21:00] Yeah. Into surgery. They, the first thing they do is they, they make an incision under your arm. They look at the lymph nodes and they light up whichever one or ones are. They have the radioactive dial and then they take those off, leaving all the rest. There's a person in the surgery, um, who then looks at them under the microscope right away and says, you know, is there cancer in here or not?
And what I told by my surgeon was if they find cancer, they will then probably remove all of the lymph nodes. And when I wake up, I'll have a drain coming out of my arm. Um, if they don't, then I won't have a drain coming out of my arm. So when I was coming out of anesthesia and the nurse was waking me up and it did end up being very late at night and my doctor had to go home, There was a phone call in the, recovery room.
Elizabeth Anderson: The nurse, like dragging this phone cord across. He's like, It's for you. And I'm like, [00:22:00] What? But before, before she did under my arm, she's like, Nope. But I'm like, Yes. That's what she
Brandy Breth: thought of when you . I love it.
Elizabeth Anderson: And as my surgeon, she's like, I'm sorry I had to go home, but blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, Yeah, I know. She's like, How do you know? I'm like, There's no drain under my arm.
Brandy Breth: you're very keen on everything. like, I can tell you, Elizabeth.
Flo Speakman: Yeah, it's, it's, it's one of the reasons I think we're friends is cuz you know, , we can talk about just about anything.
Elizabeth Anderson: Thank you. Yeah.
Yeah. Um, yeah. So that was good. then we moved, I had a month to, Oh no, I. So they'd said, Oh yeah, after the surgery you can keep breastfeeding until you start chemo. Great, no problem. Um, no, they, that night I'm leaving to go home. No, we injected you [00:23:00] with radioactive dye. You can't breastfeed ah, for at least a couple weeks. Then you can again, I'm like, okay, wait a minute. You want me to not breastfeed for two weeks? Then go back to breastfeeding for two weeks and then stop.
Are you out of your mind? So here we just moved into a new house. I had to immediately stop breastfeeding was the worst part of the whole thing. Oh my gosh. It was so painful. Um, my mom actually went out and bought a breast pump for me because mm-hmm. , It was coming out bloody. I mean, it was just awful.
Brandy Breth: Wow.
Elizabeth Anderson: Just awful tricky. I don't even know what the surgeon, what the surgery felt like or anything. It was just, it was .
Brandy Breth: Were you prepared for that? Were they gonna tell you, by the way, you gonna have all this excess milk? Yeah. That's gonna Right. No, I mean, what the heck?
Elizabeth Anderson: I know I know. I'm like, seriously? You don't think it could for me this tiny little important fact?
Flo Speakman: Yes. Very important fact. And, you know, if, um, I mean, Milo was over, over a [00:24:00] year at that point, so on solids and doing whatever, but still,
Brandy Breth: Still, was there a point where you had to just grieve the fact that would, Well first, did you stop breastfeeding together and did you take time to just grieve that you're done with breastfeeding like this is it, you're weaned? there wasn't time to grieve anything. I was just unpacking, I mean, we literally moved on a Wednesday, unpacked as much as we could on Thursday. I had, surgery on Friday. We had friends come to unload the rest of our stuff the next day. Mm-hmm. and then it was just trying to unpack pots and pans and make beds and, I mean, It was, it just, Yeah, you just keep going.
Yeah. You definitely keep going. And then did you just go straight to formula then, or was Milo just eating solid? No, he didn't.
Elizabeth Anderson: He didn't need it. He didn't need it. I, the reason I was still breastfeeding, I know that the, um, basically worldwide women breastfeed about two years. Yeah. You know, cause that's not the way they do things. But I've got a friend who's always looked at [00:25:00] things from a different angle. Mm-hmm. , she shared a lot of stuff with me before I had Milo. And it was really helpful. Um, she didn't believe in vaccinating her kids and talked to me about it. I'd never thought about it one way or the other. I just assumed I was gonna do it.
And I thought about it a lot. I did some research. I talked to our doctor. Talked to my husband and we decided that we were going to vaccinate, but we were gonna do it on our own terms and in our own time. Mm-hmm. , he was not going straight into daycare. After two weeks I quit my job. I was a stayat home mom, so there was no reason he was gonna be exposed to a bunch of outside influence.
And it's the data winter. I mean, it's not like going anywhere, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, um, it, I remember going in like, and he was three weeks early, so he was really tiny. And the first time he went in for vaccinations, post postpartum, basically post delivery. Um, [00:26:00] they wanted to give him four shots at once, and I'm like, What?
And some of those have like that. Do we still
do that? Yep. Yeah. No, that's
a thing. No, I can give him two. And she's like, Why We spread ours out. Yeah. Do we know which one he's reacting to besides, Have you had four shots in a day? Cause I had some diabetes, my blood drawn four times. I, he's like, Well, we'll still have to come back.
I'm like, Yeah, yeah. Just big deal. You know?
Brandy Breth: Yeah. So you, so that's all part of your postpartum journey is even just advocating for that as well.
Elizabeth Anderson: But I did it not necessarily in the timeframe that they wanted. Mm-hmm. , I got all these vaccinations, but as worked out best for your, what I, Yeah. Yeah.
Brandy Breth: Well, the reason why I asked about the breastfeeding is because I breastfed till Sebastian, my first born over a year and a half.
and [00:27:00] so given all the news coming at you, okay, this is what's gonna happen. Surgery, breast cancer. Then you just knew, okay, this is a time, this is our time is up for, you know, providing and having that type of bonding with Milo, I'm just focusing on that aspect right now in postpartum. Like, was that there for you ever? Or you just like, okay, survival mode, this is what we gotta do. This is it we're weened, we're done, Let's move on.
Elizabeth Anderson: I was sad. I don't think I had time to dwell in the sadness, but yeah. Mm-hmm. , I, I love breastfeed. Oh my gosh. You can eat anything and you lose weight. I don't know who doesn't wanna breastfeed . Good lord. I'm still waiting for that. Yeah. I was just like dropping pounds here and there and making cookies. I'm like, you know, this is great. I magic thing. Um, and it is, it's special bonding. I loved it. I love breastfeeding. It was easy for me. So, you know, I'm, there are people, it's not easy for, and if it's not, then you've got different options, you know?
Mm-hmm. , which is awesome. Everyone should have.
that's fascinating to me. And [00:28:00] I say that because postpartum, my journey postpartum was a big part of my journey. And how mommys are taken care of, . Cause it's always about the baby, the baby, the baby. Oh, well how's the mommy doing?
Brandy Breth: And that's why focusing the questions like, Well how are you and how are you feeling? And you know, just you looking back at it. And then for other listeners, cuz this is, this is an honor of breast cancer awareness month. Right? Right. And so we really hope that other moms, women listen to this and have that sense of, this is what I could do if this is gonna happen to me, or if this is happening to me, I have to wean off. Or even if someone doesn't have it, how are they gonna support their friend, their mom, their sister? So that's why I, I'm curious.
Elizabeth Anderson: What was that again? Offer to clean the house. Mm-hmm. . Seriously. That's the best thing you can do to bring food and help clean the house. Cause you can't.
Flo Speakman: That's interesting. Yeah.
Brandy Breth: Who was your support system [00:29:00] when you move, finally moved into your new house? Flo you can't do that cuz you know,
Flo Speakman: Like, I'm like trying not to say anything cause I do know. Oh, well I know.
Elizabeth Anderson: Well, I don't know if she does now.
Brandy Breth: Or, your village. Yeah,
Elizabeth Anderson: So I'm from Portland, Oregon. When I, I went to Italy on a trip, on a tour and the tour guide I ended up marrying a couple years later.
That's how met. and he lives from Seattle. So I had moved to Seattle. We lived together for I think about a year. And I was at the point where, you know, I wanna get married and have a kid if you're not into that, fine. And he decided, okay, so we got married, we had the, the baby, um, where were we going with this? I completely blanked.
Brandy Breth: Who was your, what was who or what was your support system? Yeah. Postpartum. You moved into new place. You have breast cancer, you have a baby.
Elizabeth Anderson: Well, many people. I'd made a couple friends from jobs, but now I was, you know, so most of the people we knew were from his office and um, so [00:30:00] they all.
I guess this is another interesting topic that I wanted to talk about is do you share your diagnosis with people or not? And it's fascinating to me how different people's response to this is. at my husband's company, which was a medium size company, I knew most of the people. and there was one of the workers who had cancer, it was very aggressive and it was kind of all over the place. And they didn't want to do updates, they didn't want anything they didn't want.
It was just kind of leave us alone, which is fine. But, um, Everyone still cared and so would share gossip. And we heard this and we heard she's doing this way or that way, and, and it was just kind of hard for everybody. So when, um, again, totally their choice, but [00:31:00] this was just my feeling, an observation. when I called my husband and said, Hey, I just talked to Dr. Lee and have cancer. Um, and he was supposed to leave for Europe to do a tour the following week. So he immediately went to his boss, Rick, and told him what was going on and they rescheduled and got someone else to lead the tour. and that weekend I ended up calling almost everyone I felt needed to know and telling them personally.
But I remember Rick called me and I was really thankful to him for that. And he said, How do you want us to handle this within the company. And I said, Just be honest with people. They're gonna know anyway. You know, let's just be up front and open. He's like, You don't care if I tell them? I'm like, no. Mm, let anybody know it's, you know, it's, it's what's happening.
It's not a secret. It's not, This is the reality situation. And they were great. And they all said, What can we do to help? And I said, Well, I love getting mail. So I would love to get cards [00:32:00] and people cards. And I still, I saved 'em. I still have a packet of all the cards people sent me. And, um, they also offered to bring meals when I was going through my infusions. And that was really helpful.
Brandy Breth: I love that you knew how to be taken care of and you're able to communicate it in that area.
Elizabeth Anderson: Thank you.
Brandy Breth: Yeah. I, that's, that's amazing. Cause not everyone does and can communicate.
Elizabeth Anderson: Yeah.
Flo Speakman: Okay. So your, your new house essentially new city. I mean, not super new, but Oh yeah. Newish.
Yeah. You know, your friends are your husband's coworkers. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. This baby at home, you've got breast cancer. Like, I mean, I know you and I, and I've known you now for a long time and like, but, but still like sitting with that. And I also know you well enough to know you didn't just sit with it. Mm-hmm. you just, you went on with your life and it was just part, you just incorporated it as part of your routine, you know, like it,
Brandy Breth: Were you in pain [00:33:00] physically with the lump? I mean, I mean the last we talked about was the milk and the br the duct. Yes. That was like blood. Yeah. We get mom. Yeah. Breast pump. Okay. That's actually where we left off as far as that. Right. We, the breast pump, we pumped that. So, and then the surgery was coming up.
Elizabeth Anderson: Okay. I went and met an oncologist and she was wonderful she was great and she was also through Swedish and we had just switched like two days before to my husband's insurance because I'd quit my job. I'd had Cobra for a few, for three months or whatever. Anyway, Cobra was over. We had to go to his, and he had Group health, an hmo. So we get to the end of this like hour and a half consult with this wonderful doctor and go, Oh, by the way, our insurance just switched. Can we still come to you? She's like, No.
Brandy Breth: Oh God. It's like the insurance. Hello. Another insurance convers. Should I?
Flo Speakman: It's such a big part of everything. Fine now.
Elizabeth Anderson: You were so lovely. I would treat [00:34:00] you for free, but the cause of chemo would, would bankrupt you. Mm-hmm. , she's, If you have any problems at all, you call me and I will help. And God bless her because I did chemo and me did not get along. I was offered three choices for chemo. This is another thing people should know. Mm-hmm. just because you have cancer doesn't mean you have, it's not a one stop shop. You know? It, it's, there's, there's different kinds of ways to approach, um, your particular situation. I could have had this one chemo and now I can't remember the name of it.
It's very aggressive. Three months, you get an infusion every three weeks you will a hundred percent guaranteed to lose your hair. Mm-hmm. , it's very hard on your body. Three months you're done. That's it.
Brandy Breth: wow.
Elizabeth Anderson: Or you could do, um, that was door number one. Door number two was, to take, was every 28 days you started a new cycle. The cycles [00:35:00] lasted. It was a total of six, six cycles. So on day one, you would start an oral, chemo that you would take for 14 days. On day one and seven, you would also have an infusion. And then after the 14 days, you would be off and then it would start all over again.
Or door number three, you could do a weekly infusion of a less toxic amount of chemo, but you're just sort of doing it constant for six months.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
Elizabeth Anderson: I chose door number two, I would start the cytoxin on day one. I'd go have an infusion of methotrexate and 5-FU. I was fortunate that I was not one of the people who had to sit there and have a drip and be sitting there for three hours.
Brandy Breth: Yeah.
Elizabeth Anderson: It was called a push where they would put an IV in and then the nurse would gently push it in. At Group Health it was horrible. I had this nurse once who I think was in a big hurry and tried to do the whole thing in about five minutes, and [00:36:00] I felt like I was on a roller coaster because she's pushing all these fluids through my body.
Um,
Brandy Breth: Wow.
Elizabeth Anderson: Because we moved, I found out I could change I was far enough away from downtown Seattle that. If I made my primary in Everett, which was closer, I could, and they didn't have, um, a cancer facility in Everett that they would have to pay for me to go to a regular cancer facility. So that's what I did. And I had the remainder of my care, um, with non-group health doctors, which was then lovely.
Brandy Breth: Good.
Elizabeth Anderson: And by one of the things I put down in my notes was know your own body and listen to it. Halfway through my last round, I just knew I was done and I that final round and I talked to my doctor and I said, I just, I don't need it. I know I don't need it. And he said, Okay.
Flo Speakman: That's awesome.
Brandy Breth: Is that why you chose door number two? You kinda just knew yourself [00:37:00] and the timing?
Elizabeth Anderson: No. Well, I know myself and I'm an enormous needle fobe. Um,
Brandy Breth: okay. Yeah. You know yourself.
Elizabeth Anderson: I have a port. No, I didn't want, People don't understand. Um, I don't like something stuck into my skin. Mm-hmm. And I don't want something right under my skin. So, to me, that thought of having a port was immensely creepy. And every You have a port. No, you're not putting a port in me. Are you kidding me? No.
Flo Speakman: And for, for, for our I
Brandy Breth: love that. Because people do think that. I think that too. Yeah. Cause that was my experience with family.
Flo Speakman: For, for our listeners, a port is a, is a what is a subcutaneous.
Elizabeth Anderson: It, it's a sub. It's something, Yeah. Go ahead. Directly to the blood vessels. So that mm-hmm. , um, instead of finding a vein and, and giving you, um, an IV, they poke it through the skin into this round port, and then they can inject whatever they need to straight in.
Brandy Breth: And for our listeners, it's on top of your, It's in your ch Well, if [00:38:00] this is considered your chest, Yeah.
Elizabeth Anderson: They, they try to make it like it's, Oh, it's a simple procedure. A lot of people had a really difficult time after they, with the final procedure. It's not the simple thing they make it out to be believe, but I'm like, No, you're so not doing that. So yes, I got poked and, um, yes, eventually I kind of got over my fear needles. So, yeah.
Flo Speakman: That's probably good.
Brandy Breth: Yeah. So then when you told your doctor, Okay, this is it. I'm good. Like I feel it. how, what was the lump or the ca where were you at? Where was it at at that point? Well, moved, um, through surgery.
Yeah.
Elizabeth Anderson: It was six months in.
Brandy Breth: Got it.
Flo Speakman: So I can I, I'm gonna ask an end question. You had a lumpectomy, right? Did you have a ma You . Didn't have a mastectomy?
Elizabeth Anderson: I did not.
Flo Speakman: Okay.
Elizabeth Anderson: I had a lumpectomy,
So they just took that piece out? ?
Elizabeth Anderson: Yes. And the sentinel node biopsy, which is the one under the mm-hmm. the, um, the armpit to, to find the radioactive nodes. [00:39:00] Um, but, so then
Brandy Breth: the radiation helped shrink it down. Because you took radiation and had the surgery.
Elizabeth Anderson: No, it was gone. They, they removed, They removed the tumor. So, so they, they do the surgery, they take the tumor out.
Brandy Breth: Yes. We skipped that part. Sorry, I just realized that
Flo Speakman: Yeah, we sort of did.
Brandy Breth: Yeah. Just to clarification. Yeah,
Elizabeth Anderson: no, I like, sorry to tell.
.
Elizabeth Anderson: So they figure out, they dissected it, they found out it was the DCIS and the infiltrating duct carcinoma, Okay. Mm-hmm. . Um, based on that then it wasn't in my, lymph nodes mm-hmm. , so they did not have to do as aggressive chemo. So then they make a plan after that. The thing is, is even though they may have clean margins, which means that here's your tumor and there's an area around it, they wanna take out a healthy area completely around it. Clean margins that have no cancer in them. Then they feel like we, we got it all. You still could have an. A parent one here, there.
Brandy Breth: Yes. And that's part I [00:40:00] missed was okay.
Now, one thing, another thing, tip number four, one of the reasons you do chemo is they want you to go into menopause. What most people don't realize is that estrogen, um, well, that, that breast cancer eats estrogen. So if you, if your body has a lot of estrogen, it's just food.
Elizabeth Anderson: It, it's, it's eating. And I had just been flooded with estrogen being pregnant. In fact, we were about to, we'd just talked to my doctor about getting pregnant again and my, my gynecologist called me. She's like,
Brandy Breth: Oh my gosh.
Elizabeth Anderson: You cannot have another baby. You can like, whatever, you know, whatever else. Sure. But you, you cannot have another baby. And then I'd ask my oncologist say, Well you could, but it's really not a good idea, but you really can't. So I really appreciated my OB just calling and saying, Nope, you're done. Cause it was like ripped the bandaid off. Go from there.
Well,
Brandy Breth: Flo I'm just realizing that [00:41:00] like that's a whole other conversation. Like, so two things Elizabeth, stay with me cuz I'm like getting all this newly, cuz you know, I know about breast cancer, I know what pregnancy and estrogen. But when you, when you talk about the estrogen, are you talking about building your family or having, making babies? Um, one first thing going into the menopause. Did that ha did that, did that house have to do with your age or not necessarily? Just because obviously you had cancer so you don't
Elizabeth Anderson: Well, so, so the menopause, um, The way I understand it, and again, my information's 20 years old, but, depends with an oncologist, I still ask for questions. Um, if you are, if you're 40 or under, you will go into menopause, but you'll usually bounce back and bounce.
Got it. If you're 45 and older, you will probably stay in menopause. Mm-hmm. I was 41, so I was in that, you know? Yeah. And that in between, we don't know which you do, [00:42:00] which, you know me, that's the way it is. Um, so I was in it for about a year and a half, and then I bounced out mm-hmm. , and at that time, I had a friend who's an oncologist anyway, and said, you know, um, just have your ovaries out. because then there's no estrogen for any leftover cancer to eat. Just get it done. I'm like, okay. So I had my ovaries removed, so, um, that kind of sealed that deal, so that was fine. one of the reasons for the whole chemo is to put you into menopause. Whether or not you bounce out can depend on your age. Mm-hmm. . So yeah, it wasn't because I was an older mom, it was just kind of where it fell. And again, those numbers could have shifted by now. I don't,
Brandy Breth: Yeah. So many factors though. I hear you. I get it. Because if you had a mom or woman that was say 28 and gone through what you did, but still wanted to have children, [00:43:00] she didn't fall into that line, that age bracket that you said. So there was still that possibility if they chose. Okay.
Elizabeth Anderson: And I know at that point, either if it would be good for them to ever have another
Brandy Breth: Exactly, yes. Just hypothetically putting it. Yeah. That's, that's a, Cause again, I'm taking this all like. Yeah. new, Yeah. Wow. Wow.
Flo Speakman: It's a lot.
Brandy Breth: Okay, So it is a lot. It's a lot.
Flo Speakman: So, so not only did you have to like, I mean you probably, I'm gonna use this word, it's probably not a word you would use, Elizabeth you mourned not being able to breastfeed your child anymore. And now at this point you're 42, 43 what? At this? And you're like, Oh, and no more babies. So your family's done right.
And at least, at least
Brandy Breth: my OV
Elizabeth Anderson: is out. What I knew, I mean, like I said, my, my OB called right after she got the results of my breast cancer. Mm-hmm. . Cause they sent it to her too. And she, um, and she's the one who said right then and there, So that was long before I had my ovaries out. She's like, No more babies.[00:44:00]
Brandy Breth: You know what I'm thinking of right now? It's like, uh, Miracle Milo.
Flo Speakman: Miracle Milo
Brandy Breth: like the timing of meeting your husband. I wanna have a baby. This is what's gonna happen. You had Milo.
Elizabeth Anderson: He is a miracle. I like him. Yeah.
Flo Speakman: I'm over here. I'm like tearing up because that's, Yeah. And the age
Brandy Breth: that he is, you know I'm saying cuz you had you I'm 40. Oh my God. What, How old am I gonna be? 44. Anyways, I had two kids, but I had him at my, you know, 40 and, and the fact that that's, I'm just, that's what I'm present to. Yeah. Elizabeth, that's all.
Flo Speakman: Is that, is that Milo was, you know, you and Jean were supposed to
Brandy Breth: the timing of it
Flo Speakman: and, and all of this was supposed to happen.
Elizabeth Anderson: Yeah. Well and told me he was trans. Mm-hmm. . Um, you know, I just thought about it a minute and I just said, Well then that makes me the luckiest mom in the world. [00:45:00] Mm-hmm. and you go. how you think that and Well, I was only able to have one kid and raise a beautiful daughter. Now I gotta handsome son. So I got two jobs. Friend score.
Brandy Breth: Yes. Oh my God. But you know what I mean, Like that's, uh, Okay. Yeah, that's what I mean. It's just because it's so, cuz as women we're so, we're, it's it like we have a timeline whether we like it or not. Yeah. and our timelines bring us to our journey. And this was, this was yours and it's so, Oh, how amazing.
Flo Speakman: Oh, it is far as it is. It is. And, and Milo, it's a incredible thing.
Brandy Breth: Oh my God.
Flo Speakman: Like I just, I'm, I'm very grateful that, that, that, Elizabeth,
Brandy Breth: This is why I have the tissues next to me.
Flo Speakman: Oh, I know.
Brandy Breth: Sorry to interrupt. Flo.
Flo Speakman: I'm, I'm very grateful that Elizabeth and Milo are in life because it, you know, Oh,
Elizabeth Anderson: well, you know the smile that Don has on his face right now.
Flo Speakman: Oh, I know. He's, he's cracking up. Oh, because when, when Milo was seven, Cause I met Don in April, [00:46:00] April, May of 2002. Mm-hmm. And, um, for, for listeners, Don Anderson, uh, is um, was a fantastic artist. So he was one of my best friends. And he died in 2009. And after he died, Elizabeth and I decided to become friends.
Elizabeth Anderson: And he's my brother
Flo Speakman: And he's Elizabeth's brother.
Brandy Breth: Okay.
Flo Speakman: And, and so through, through the process of mourning this person who was so important to me and so important to my family, Well, I didn't have a family yet. It was important to Sid and I, important to my husband and I, um, I got Elizabeth and, and Mylo out of it, and, and I'm just so grateful for that. But when Milo,
Elizabeth Anderson: But you were pregnant when he was dying?
Flo Speakman: I was, I found out I was, He's the only person I think outside of a, I mean, he was one of a very small group of people who knew before I was 12 weeks pregnant that I was pregnant because I knew he was gonna die before, before he hit 12 weeks
Elizabeth Anderson: After he died. I just felt, I didn't really know, I didn't know Flo at [00:47:00] all. but I knew that she was incredibly important to my brother and I felt like I need to make a baby blanket for her.
Brandy Breth: Oh,
Flo Speakman: That's true. You did. That's right. I made the quilt for
Brandy Breth: How sweet. Was Don in Los Angeles? Were you in LA?, okay.
Flo Speakman: Yeah, Don was a, was a storyboard artist and screenwriter. And, and he, he directed a couple short films, so he's just amazing guy. And
Brandy Breth: He's in her, Elizabeth Don is in Flo's Delivery Diary story.
Flo Speakman: He is?
Elizabeth Anderson: Yeah, he is. Mm-hmm. . Yes.
Flo Speakman: Yeah. And
Brandy Breth: I'm putting it all together.
Flo Speakman: So it's, yeah, it's, He's amazing. And he was amazing. He was an amazing man. And, and I, you know, completely
Elizabeth Anderson: and, uh, biggest loss of my life.
Flo Speakman: Yeah, I can imagine. And, um, was losing Don.
And I remember when Milo was seven, Don called me and like, I just had the weirdest conversation, . And, and I said, and at that point, you know, I, [00:48:00] he, what he said to me was, I had just had the weirdest conversation with my niece. Because at that, that was pre Milo discovery. Mm-hmm. , you know, pre dysphoria, pre all of that. And yeah. And I don't know. And like, I'm like, What do you mean? He's like, I was just on the phone for like an hour and a half with a seven year old . And I'm like, Okay, that sounds like fun. .
Brandy Breth: Well, it was, well the attention span to be on the phone, like, that's amazing.
Flo Speakman: Wait, wait, nine, seven, something like that.
Elizabeth Anderson: I don't even remember. It was, it was pretty, Well, what was funny though was, was Milo never wanted to talk to anybody on the phone. Oh. It's like, it's grandma, Do you wanna say hi? No, Say no. And so whenever I talked to Don, it's Uncle Don, Do you wanna say hi? And all of a sudden he said yes. Oh, okay. And I'm like,
Flo Speakman: That was pretty funny.
Elizabeth Anderson: The first time that Don met Milo, like he was two or, and Don had come to visit. Mm-hmm. and the guest room was [00:49:00] upstairs and Milo just gotten out the bath, I think. And um, and Don, you know, stairs were very hard, very hard, hard for him. Yeah. So he pulled himself up and, um, Milo opened the bathroom door and little kid, and I'm like, Hey, this is your Uncle Don.
Flo Speakman: Really funny.
Brandy Breth: Oh my God. Which, And that sets the scene . Oh yeah. That's so cute. That's so cute.
Flo Speakman: Yep. That's cute. So, but um, yeah, so that's how, I mean, that's how Elizabeth and I met is through one of the biggest tragedies of both of our lives is, is this, this human who was so important to me.
Brandy Breth: And so comes this amazing friendship you guys have.
Flo Speakman: Oh God. It's family.
Wait, let's go back to the lump. Just lump out. It's all perfect Elizabeth. This is wonderful.
Brandy Breth: So then, cause I wanna make sure we don't miss anything. so recovery, should we just, how was recovery? Cause and we gotta bring it back to you have a how old now? Still? One and a half, two.
Elizabeth Anderson: We weren't done yet. Oh, [00:50:00] okay, okay. You weren't done it ahead after chemo. I still had radiation for seven weeks.
Brandy Breth: Mm. Okay. Oh my gosh. What was that like that, So let's bring it to, what was that like with a baby?
Elizabeth Anderson: Um, well you'd ask if it was painful chemo. Like I said, chemo and I didn't get along. Mm-hmm. and it was and there were times it, it would feel like your guts were being ripped apart. It would so painful. You'd just, I'd kind of go through a period for. 20 minutes where I'd just be in horrific pain. And I remember my mom was there once and she was so upset and she wanted to go see the doctor the next time I went. And she's like, she was in terrible pain.
He's like, Well, yeah, we're giving her poison terms of
Flo Speakman: Terms of Endearment moment. My daughter's in thing.
Elizabeth Anderson: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Um, yeah, Yeah. So that, but also another thing I think people should know, if you go through, if you react to chemo the way I did, I ended up being, um, lactose intolerant. And the doctors [00:51:00] at a Group Health didn't understand what I was going through, but I called the other oncologist and I was having horrible diarrhea and I felt like my entire body had just been immersed in a VA of acid.
Mm. I didn't need anything without running to the bathroom. And it was horrible. And they didn't know what it was. And she said, Your, your lact is intolerant. 5% of people get it, go off all dairy. If any product says it has whey in it, do not have it, It immediately stopped just like that. So that was a saving grace right there.
Um, the other thing is it made me tired. So yeah. And I know that it's very hard to explain to people the level of tiredness. Cause it's almost like it deserves its own word when you're through chemo. Um, I would buy, get paperbacks from the library because I couldn't hold up a hard back book. And there were times so tired I literally couldn't open my eyes.
I was awake, but I didn't have the energy to [00:52:00] open my eyelids. It was just too much energy. Um, it's a tired, That's hard to explain, but. at that point too. I think you're kind of like, Yeah, it'd be okay if, if it was my time to go. I'm just tired. I'm so tired. And, my husband, would just kind of keep, Milo downstairs. He'd bring him up usually like in the morning, afternoon, and night for a visit. But usually about two, three days after, an infusion, I'd just be down for the count.
Brandy Breth: Wow.
Flo Speakman: So was, was Jim working or was he take, had he taken time off at this point?
Elizabeth Anderson: No, he was working, but he, he generally worked from home.
Flo Speakman: Okay.
Elizabeth Anderson: He, he would go do a couple tours. That was the end of his touring, but he'd still go to Europe to update books. Mm-hmm. . So he'd do, he'd do the book updates and he'd be gone every April for about three weeks. But other than that, he was pretty much home.
Flo Speakman: Okay. So, so you guys didn't have any like, extra help [00:53:00] with, with Milo??
my mom came a couple times. There were a couple times we needed help and I had, um, I had friends come, I had a friend from LA who flew up and spent a weekend and,
Flo Speakman: you know, but no nanny, no. Daycare. Yeah. Okay.
Brandy Breth: Babysitters on occasion.
Elizabeth Anderson: Yeah. When I went through chemo, my mom's pastor's wife actually came. Cause you have to go every single day. Yeah. Once you get there, it's five minutes. Cuz they, they map everything out. They tattoo. Mm-hmm. thing. And you just, you know, you'd be gone for an hour, but five minutes E . So then, so, um, so she would watch. So I needed help them. Yeah. But was pretty much us.
Brandy Breth: But then looking back can't hold my baby right now, or I'm a new mom, I can't be fully present? Or are you just ' like, this is what I gotta do, I gotta, this is how I feel because I'm trying to get through this cancer. My baby will still be here. [00:54:00] This is gonna ha
Elizabeth Anderson: like Yeah. I, I think. The baby face was pretty much over. you know, into toddler. Mm-hmm. . I just went back to my goal. My goal was, you know, if it's my time, it's my time. If not, I'm gonna fight it as hard as I can. Mm-hmm. , that was my focus and that was my work was to go through chemo, to go through radiation and, you know, it was,
Brandy Breth: oh, I should say toddler phase.
Yeah. Because that's when they're in most need too, though. That's, I think that's where I was going with it. Like the toddler when they need
Elizabeth Anderson: mommy and mommy or, you know, I was just to get through what I had to do to survive. Yeah. Yeah. I don't remember feeling guilty. Maybe I did, but,
Brandy Breth: looking back, I mean, but that's the thing.
Elizabeth Anderson: Yeah. I was with him all the time on my good days, so.
Brandy Breth: Mm. What were your good days like with Milo?
Elizabeth Anderson: Um, at that point,
Brandy Breth: Yeah.
Elizabeth Anderson: Lots of hugs. Hmm. Playing in the backyard. I don't know.
Brandy Breth: Okay. [00:55:00] Yeah. So you had the energy to go to the backyard? Yeah. Yeah. Once
I What about lifting, Lifting Milo and stuff, and like physically, how is it physically for you?
Like you lift? Okay.
Flo Speakman: Yeah. Once, once you recovered from the surgery. Yeah. You, you were probably not a problem.
Elizabeth Anderson: Well that, Oh, well.
Brandy Breth: Yeah. Well, I mean, in general, your life, your life now is just recovering, tired, recovering, getting energy. So I didn't know if like the, I mean, it's a toddler, so I didn't know if like, you could keep up high level or, That's what I'm saying, your good days snuggling, cuddling or running around the backyard, like, I don't know. That's
Flo Speakman: like, and, and you know, an older mom, cuz I, I remember those times like after, you know, for me when af when Audrey was like two and three, it was sometimes it was really hard to keep up with her just cuz I was older and mm-hmm. really outta shape. Um, and so, yeah. So that's just,
Elizabeth Anderson: I don't, it's kind of a blur you had. That's fine. Yeah. , you know? Mm-hmm. . So it's that time is kind of a fog.
Flo Speakman: If I remember correctly, you couldn't like, pick Milo up, right?Like you couldn't, could you interact with mi.
Elizabeth Anderson: Oh yeah. Okay. In radiation, I mean as bad as chemo, as I reacted to chemo, I had. Very easy time with radiation. Much easier than most people. So can
Brandy Breth: you share the difference for ev everyone listening and watching, Um, radiation
Elizabeth Anderson: and chemo? You know, some people get super tired from radiation and they just have a hard time with it. I just, it was like no big deal. Um, the last two weeks, your skin starts to get pretty burned.from, you know, it's like shining a bright sunshine on it, um, repeatedly day after day after day for weeks. Um, but other than, , I was pretty much fine.
Flo Speakman: So, so the difference between chemo and radiation, right? Is, is that chemo is the, is is like a, a medication, right? Like that they put into your system [00:01:00] mm-hmm. And then radiation is where they actually take a form of like, I don't know what kind of radiation this,
Elizabeth Anderson: it's under a big microscope almost. It's like, it's like when you go to the, or the dentist and they do radiation, but they started, so if the, lump was about here and they, for five weeks they did a circle of radiation over the whole area. And then they did, the last two weeks, a targeted one right over where like the worst part would've been. So it's just like, Yeah, like it's, it's very short. You go in and they do sink, here's boom, and they line everything up and then they go behind their little screen and clink and then you tomorrow and you know,
Brandy Breth: is radiation like the, like the toner?
I mean, was it just the final act of let's the final act of your
Elizabeth Anderson: trying to kill process leftover? Yeah.
Brandy Breth: I mean, I know what it does. Yeah. But just like, let's just do this at the targeted area and yeah. So then what was it like after [00:02:00]
Elizabeth Anderson: for you? Oh, it was just great to finally put cream back in my coffee. Ah, you know, once, once the chemo was, it took about two weeks.
There were a lot of after effects from chemo. Um, one of the things was it. broke my temperature regulation system when I, I used to love the heat and if I get hot, I have a hard time cooling off. So I tend to, dress very, um, like lightweight. Um mm-hmm. a layer. Uh, It just, it's, it's been difficult for me for a long time.
Um, I still don't drink red wine that much. I used to love red wine, and red wine would just give me heartburn really bad afterward. Mm-hmm. that changed. Um, it just, it changes your body. Mm-hmm. it, it's going to change your body and it, it just depends how it affects, you know, each person. Yeah. But, but all my good days.
Yeah. I think I could pick up Milo again. It was 20 years ago. It's [00:03:00] hard to remember all the, the details. Plus you do kind of have chemo brain and a lot of that just sort of fades away. Um, but I remember once it was over, I had a great time finally starting to decorate the house and, mm, painted Milo's room and stencil the whole thing. And it was really cute. And so it just kind of moved on. Yeah.
Brandy Breth: So you had like a delayed nesting period and
Elizabeth Anderson: Yeah. It was just sort of grow in for, for, for nine months and just sort of hunker down and, and get through all the treatment. And then,
Brandy Breth: Oh God, when you put it in that context, nine months. Yeah. Less than a year.
Dang day girl. Yeah, you were just, ugh,
Elizabeth Anderson: You're like, you got the, you start with the, the, um, the surgery and then you've got a month in between and then you've got your six months of. . Um, and then they only give you, I think a couple weeks in between there, which I thought was pretty mean. Um, and then it was your seven weeks of that, so mm-hmm. Yeah. I finished [00:04:00] radiation right before Christmas.
Brandy Breth: How old was Milo then?
Elizabeth Anderson: He would've been two in January. Yeah. Okay. So it was between 14 months. Almost two. Yeah,
Brandy Breth: that's a lot. Whew. So whenever I think of my postpartum ladies listening, . Right,
Flo Speakman: exactly. Like what? What, Yeah. You think about what you went through and then you think, Oh my God, look at what Elizabeth went through.
Brandy Breth: I mean, I get it. Everyone's different. We're all different. All, Oh yes, we're all different. But in the context of, you know, extra things to go through as a human being, let alone a new mommy. Yeah, that is, uh, putting it in a different context. Um, I think, uh, did you ever experience any. The, Okay, well here's how I wanna start this question.
Were you always just ray a sunshine , just talking to you, meeting you for the first time? So really, I mean, because you very po I mean, I think I'm a positive person, but you just the like how, like before and after, were you just always like [00:05:00] positive as far as I'm gonna get through this, you know? Yeah. You're gonna do this.
Elizabeth Anderson: Yeah. Okay, great. I mean, I, I had a friend call once, In fact, I talked to her today and, and I was going through chemo and she started telling me she was having a problem with such and such and a bad day and blah, blah, and all of a sudden she just stopped. She goes, Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I'm like, What? What? She goes, Well, you're going through cancer and. Yeah, so like, Well, you've got it so much worse. And I'm like, Well, it's not a contest .
Brandy Breth: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like who has a worse,
Elizabeth Anderson: You stop having bad days cuz I'm going through cancer. I mean, come on. Mm-hmm. . Good and bad times. Bring it on baby. Let me think of someone else's problems for a few minutes.
Brandy Breth: Well, yeah, because I kind of was like, I don't even wanna ask the next question cuz I already answered it for myself in a way because it's like, um, you know, did you have any baby blues postpartum depression? But it's like, you don't even have time for that. It's like, that's not even [00:06:00] like, what are you talking about? I'm, I'm surviving cancer. Okay. It's, But the fact that cause of hormones, that's what I mean. And other things that go on through our minds and
Elizabeth Anderson: Mostly no because of my dad. Because pretty much right after, you know, two weeks after mm-hmm. Milo was born, my dad was diagnosed with the glioblastoma, the brain tumor.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
Elizabeth Anderson: And we were just into trying to take care of him and watching him go downhill and getting the second opinion and having a doctor actually talk to him and examine him and find out that he didn't know what day of the week it was or what year it was, or, mm. Couldn't tie his shoes or you know, there was a lot going on.
My mom couldn't help me with the baby cuz she had to be with him full time and take care of mm-hmm. . Um, so I was pretty much on my own. That was, that was it. But we were just kind of in. A lot of survival mode, you know, And, [00:07:00] um, and watching him go downhill and die was, was very hard. And then when Jean's brother died, that was also very hard.
And so, no, I did not suffer postpartum depression, thank God. Mm-hmm. . Uh, well,
Flo Speakman: but how would you have even known, I mean, at some level, right? Like your dad died, like, so was it, you know, in the middle of, in the middle of your, you know, your hormones doing what they do, it's like,
yeah, it was, and then we had like a, a few months respite and then it was onto my cancer and mm-hmm.
Elizabeth Anderson: so it was, it was two years. utter chaos. Well, and remember before that there was the miscarriage, so it was like mm-hmm. , marriage, miscarriage, pregnancy, car accident, preeclampsia, um, you know, c-section dad, sorry, Dad dying, brother-in-law, dying, you know, moving [00:08:00] cancer, treat, you know, chemo, radiation. It was just this, it was two years of. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.
Brandy Breth: Yeah. So part of your story, there's grief in, there's the grief in pregnancy or grief in birth in part of your story. Okay. And I wanna now go to. , like for those listening, What advice or what? I mean, just listening to who you're being people can take away and who to be and how to be. Oh. But what can you say in your own words? Anyone going through, whether it's, you know, grief or breast cancer, any cancer, um, in this moment of motherhood or family planning and family making.
Elizabeth Anderson: I have watched a dear friend and my brother both pass away and my dad since having my child, and [00:09:00] it was very fascinating to me how differently each person approaches a diagnosis of cancer.
my dad, of course, was not my dad very quickly. Because it was in the brain. my friend Jeanette from LA who had flown up to help me when I was going through chemo, had stage four colon cancer and I flew down to take care of her. I think Milo was about three or four. And I was like, Okay, we need to ask your oncologist these questions and we need to do this.
Elizabeth Anderson: And I. Cooked her food and I cleaned her place and I just, you know, took her to the oncologist for the first visit. And we got there and she asked me to wait outside. And I was just floored. Uh, and I was like, Okay. So I did. And she never once asked the doctor what her prognosis [00:10:00] was. She would not let him tell her.
And a quick Google search will tell you that stage. Colon cancer, you've got less than, what was it, like 5% chance of surviving a couple years. And so she spent two years going through round, after round, after round after round of chemo and being sick as a dog and having no quality of life when, from my point of view, and would've been just fricking tell me. and I would rather have three great months than go through hell. And even Don, when he was dying, wouldn't let me say goodbye to him.
Brandy Breth: Well, I was gonna say is your context, So I have the saying of family members surviving and not surviving of cancer is the con My context of living is, And also experiencing how people we love die. Mm-hmm. . And [00:11:00] so with, for me, it's in how, how do I wanna live?
Elizabeth Anderson: Right. Well, and, and, and that's why I guess my, my final words of wisdom are don't live in denialand because when I walked with that through Jeanette, that's what I ended up calling it and it was so hard on me, and I learned that I. I can't go to denial land with you, and if that's where you need to live right now, okay, I respect that, but I can't follow you there.
I could not. take that journey with her in that direction. Um, so that's something that I think is important to know, is that people all handle things very differently. And just because I was all gung-ho and what's my prognosis, what do we do, where do we go from here?
doesn't mean that anyone else's or someone else's, and. . And if you have a friend or loved one going through that and they can't, it's also okay to be aware of [00:12:00] your, what you can and can't take in that instance, you know? Um, That's okay. So that's, that's okay. Yeah. That was, that was a, that was a tough one too, but I learned a lot from that.
Elizabeth Anderson: And, and the final thing is that, um, I got a lot of gifts from cancer, you know? Um, Uh, like what? I made peace with dying. Mm-hmm. . And so I'm not really afraid of it anymore. And when it's my birthday, damn, I wanna celebrate , you know, I'm older. Cool. I live woohoo. You know, Instead of like, Oh God, now I'm 50 or I'm 60, or whatever.
You know, it, it changed my whole perspective. It's like, Right on. I made it here. Mm-hmm.
Flo Speakman: You're now 20 years, you've had years clean this year. You've never had, you've, you know, no recurrence of, of breast cancer.
Brandy Breth: [00:13:00] Oh my gosh.
Elizabeth Anderson: Mm-hmm. Woohoo. Yay. I used to also be more afraid of confrontation and I'm still a people pleaser at heart, but I let go a lot of that and learn to go. To just be more of who I want it to be, I think. So those were my gifts.
Brandy Breth: I receive your gifts. We receive your gifts. Thank you for giving us your gifts, and thank you for sharing your Delivery Diary.
Elizabeth Anderson: Thank you for having me. Appreciate it.
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