Delivery Diaries: The Podcast
Delivery Diaries: The Podcast
Honoring NICU Awareness Month: A Micro-preemie Mama & Survivor of Kidney Failure While Pregnant
In our first full episode we are celebrating the NICU warriors during September: NICU Awareness Month. Our first guest is Adrianna Ebron who shares her incredible journey of surprisingly being pregnant, while undergoing dialysis and successfully giving birth to her one-pound preemie boy, Astin who was in the NICU for over 100 days.
There's so much to her story. Listen in to hear how she advocated for herself when she was not receiving the proper quality of care during both her prenatal and postpartum experiences. We get to learn where her son gets his strength and bravery from. She's a proud NICU mom, all the while shifting the conversation of what NICU means to people and how adding it to your birth plan can actually be empowering.
You can find Adrianna on IG @astinsmama or visit www.astinsmama.com/.com.
Watch Astin’s story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-z2NwYXxZE&t=544s
Check out her t-shirt shop and the special NICU apparel line: www.astinandfriends.com
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Adrianna Ebron: You're fine.
Brandy Breth: Okay, great. So yeah, so we get it. We get it.
Flo Speakman: Yeah. So, so you made your promise to God that, that if, if the, if the pregnancy was gonna go, you were going to, you were going with it and I love that.
Adrianna Ebron: Yes.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
Flo Speakman: That's amazing. And so you were like, you decided in that moment I'm creating a family here and that's amazing. So, um, that was just, I mean, for me, the most, you know, were your doc did. Okay. At any point during your, your prenatal in that early stage, did any of your, like medical people or family, like try to push you to like, be like, Don't have the baby cuz you're gonna die, kind of deal. Like, so.
Brandy Breth: Well, can you go into like actually what you have
Adrianna Ebron: mm-hmm.
Brandy Breth: had, have,
Adrianna Ebron: Oh yes, yes. so I had, I was, in 2009, I was diagnosed with kidney failure, um, kidney disease, which is called FSGS, which basically FSGS stands for Focal Segmental Glomerulosclerosis. And [00:01:00] I have scarred tissue and mylo tubes. And then so your ogoloma tubes are like what cleans your kidney out. Like what It's what makes your kidneys go.
Flo Speakman: Mm-hmm.
Adrianna Ebron: um, like a water filter. And so mine are broken. Um, and so I, since 2009 I've been like going up against this carrot. My body has gone against this carrot and with different medications and everything else. And so, um, funny enough, the week I found out I was pregnant, I was already going home for a doctor's appointment to get on dialysis.
Brandy Breth: Mm.
Adrianna Ebron: So I had an appointment to talk to my doctor about what my options were for dialysis and my, and he was, that was the day I was setting up surgery to get a device in so I can start dialysis.
Flo Speakman: Oh.
Adrianna Ebron: In a couple of weeks.
Brandy Breth: Wow.
Adrianna Ebron: Like a couple of, couple of months. Cause you have to wait for the device to mature first.
So I get to [00:02:00] the office and I look at him. We have a really good relationship and I say, um, So I let him tell me everything. And then I say, Well, you know, I gotta tell you something and I don't think you gonna be happy about it. And he's like, Oh, what, what is it? And I was like, I'm pregnant. And he's like, Are you sure?
Exactly. Because every, because with this term kidney, well you have this type of kidney failure sometimes you don't even get your period. So to be pregnant is unheard of. It's like a 3% chance. And so,
Brandy Breth: goodness.
Adrianna Ebron: So he was like, um, are you sure? Like, let's, let me get you a lab test. Let me, um, get, let's get everything situated. And I'm like, Well, what do you want me to do? And he was like, What do you wanna do? And I was like , Well, I just was going do whatever you said I had to do. And he was like, No, what do you want? What do you wanna do? Like if you wanna have this baby, [00:03:00] we'll have the baby. And I was like.
Brandy Breth: He was going by your lead.
Flo Speakman: Yeah. He was like, I, you know, we'll, we'll see. And, and he was like, You'll, you know, I'll get you set up with doctors in New York. Um, you know, let's try to make this happen. And he was like, You know, you don't have to start dialysis now until second trimester. Let's just see.
Brandy Breth: Wow.
Adrianna Ebron: And I was like.
Flo Speakman: That's awesome.
Adrianna Ebron: I couldn't believe it. I love him so much.
so he said that, and then, . Um, I went to the doctors, I went to my OB and got a, a confirmation and I know my OB was so confused cause she probably was like, I thought you said you were, you broke up with your husband. Cause you know how you have to give them like your update about your social life and stuff?
Brandy Breth: Yeah. Yeah.
Flo Speakman: Mm-hmm.
Adrianna Ebron: She probably was like, um, okay. And then she had seen that, you know, she had, already set me to a fertility doctor in the past and things like that. And so she was just like, Okay, you're pregnant. She gave me the due date. She said the same thing.
Brandy Breth: So is was that then? Your [00:04:00] ex-husband?
Adrianna Ebron: No.
Brandy Breth: So your, so, so your doctor's like, Oh,
Adrianna Ebron: right. She's like, Oh, oh, okay, you're pregnant. And she gave me the due date and I'm like, Oh, I'm due like October 28th. Um, But I also knew. The elephant in the room was that this would be a preemie without a doubt.
This would be a premature baby. Um, I was hoping to get to thirties. I'm like, Oh, maybe I, you know, I was just so optimistic. I'm like, Oh, I'll get to 36 weeks and maybe he'll be on a small side. I know he'll be in the NICU. Like, you know what I mean? Like I had all of that in my mind within the first two weeks I found out I was pregnant.
Cause I, I had already known, I was also in a Facebook group for FSGS and pregnancy, like for years.
Brandy Breth: Oh, okay. So that kinda solidified the thought that you might not even make it full term.
Adrianna Ebron: That prepared me.
Flo Speakman: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Breth: Oh. Oh, okay. Cause I didn't know if you thought that like, Oh, I'm just, or grateful that I got pregnant. So even if I had, I didn't know if you just assumed doctors
Adrianna Ebron: I group and people would [00:05:00] share their micro-premies and preemies and so that had gave me faith that it could work out too.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
And I knew, I just knew I wasn't, I knew I probably wouldn't go past 34 weeks. But I had, my prayer was to make it to 30, my prayer was gonna make it to 34 So, yeah, so act so no one, so no one ever discouraged me. I was able to get, um,
Brandy Breth: wow.
Adrianna Ebron: I used my insurance and found three doctors in New York. So in order for me to have a successful pregnancy, I needed nephrologist in New York where I was living.
I needed an OB and also I needed an OB and then I also needed,
Um, so I saw a. Oh, I set up, I had to set up appointments with OB and then maternal fetal medicine, which is basically high risk, a big term for high risk [00:06:00] doctor.
And I, uh, I mentioned already a nephrologist, and so, um, I, and I just did that looking up my insurance through my, the insurance, through my job, But, um, so yeah, I, all, every, all those doctors were super helpful. I went to the OB. Like every month, but I went to , the high risk doctor more often. Um, Yeah, that makes, because they just makes sense. Wanted to check like my creatinine.
And so creatinine is basically, creatinine is what, it's like a percentage of it that should be in your body. And if it's over .5, then that shows that you have some kidneys, liver failure happening because it should be processed through your kidney. And if it's not, then you need to figure out how to get it outta your system.
Brandy Breth: Got it.
Adrianna Ebron: So they would monitor all of my levels, especially with my kidneys and also checking the baby and, um, my blood pressure. Uh, [00:07:00] so even though I had kidney disease, I had secondary, uh, high blood pressure. So that was like a big thing is to watch. And during my pregnancy, I went to the hospital pretty much every weekend.
I always felt dehydrated or I always had like heart palpitations because of, the medications that I was on. And so it was like once a week. Sometimes I, I, I would say like the first trimester, like I was always in the ER, um, just trying to get through and
Brandy Breth: The ER?
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah, because I just. It always happened on the weekends. And also I was just trying to be present at work, so I always felt,
Brandy Breth: Oh, so it wasn't scheduled for you to go every weekend? You just felt this way and then you like rushed
Adrianna Ebron: horrible every
Brandy Breth: Oh,
Adrianna Ebron: I think I was also just always afraid that there was something wrong with the baby every, every day. And so, um, on Fridays, my best friend and I would count down like, Oh, we made it to like week eight, we [00:08:00] made it.
And then, Oh, also I was spotting during week eight, and that made me like, I was like, Oh, it's over, you know?
Brandy Breth: Yes.
Adrianna Ebron: And I looked it up and
Brandy Breth: it's scary.
Oh, like it's very normal to spot during week eight because it's around your period. I was like, Oh,And that's actually why we talk about this, because I didn't know that.
Obviously for first time, even second, whatever. It's like we don't talk about, Oh, you could spot when you're pregnant.
Adrianna Ebron: Mm-hmm. and it's completely ok.
Brandy Breth: Freaking out and then finding out later yeah. So, but in your case, it was like, hyper sensitive
Flo Speakman: hyperawareness.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah
Brandy Breth: Hyperawareness.
But anyway, it ended up being nothing. The spot didn't end up being nothing and I was fine. Um, and so I just went to the doctors very often and no one ever just, no one ever said, Oh, you could. They never, no one ever said you could die, but what people would, what every doctor always said was like, you know, [00:09:00] the, uh, the mortality, No, I don't know what, what you say.
Adrianna Ebron: What would the doctor, what would the doctors be like? Oh, they're supportive, you mean? Oh,
they were, um,
so how do you they recording
support? Sorry. Oh no, you're fine. They were pretty supportive of like, no one ever discouraged me from having Aspen where the, where the issue came in was the quality of care.
So I was 18 weeks, I think I was 18 weeks pregnant and I had just found out it was a boy and I had, I was spotting again and I had lots of pain and pressure in my pelvic, and it was to the point where I couldn't. And of course, like I told you, I always was like, it was always a threat to me like that I would lose him.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
Adrianna Ebron: So the only doctor I could see with the insurance I had was Staten Island University. If you know anything about Staten Island, nobody looks like us.
I used to live in New York. [00:10:00] Oh, . so I get to, So, and, and, and when you hit 16 weeks, you have to go to L&D after 16 weeks pregnant, you go to L&D instead of the ER.
Adrianna Ebron: So I go to L&D I had to be
Brandy Breth: Can you share what L&D is for
Flo Speakman: Labor and Delivery.
Adrianna Ebron: L&D is labor and delivery. So I go to labor and delivery and I had to be Wheelchaired, in cause I was in that much pain. They say, Okay, we're gonna prep her for delivery. Never do they check everything.
They just say she's bleeding, she's cramping. , we need to deliver the baby. And I was like, Oh, like do 18 weaker, like, do 18 week babies survive? And he's like, No. And I'm like, Oh, well, he was just fine yesterday doing like my sonogram and I was like, maybe like the cramps came from them. Um, I dig it. A probe the day before.
Brandy Breth: [00:11:00] Mm-hmm.
Adrianna Ebron: And he's like, No, the doctor's like, No, I'm pretty sure you're just like losing him. And I was like, No. I was like, What? He was like, No, we need to save you because you could be hemorrhaging, blah, blah, blah. We're just going go ahead and prep you for delivery. And then on top of to add insult to injury, when they go in to do like the, I forgot what it's called, when they have to stick the sonogram machine inside of.
Inside of your uterus. I can't think of the technical term for it.
Flo Speakman: Transvaginal,
Adrianna Ebron: Transvaginal,
Flo Speakman: Transvaginal ultrasound.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah. So they go transvaginal ultrasound before setting me up for delivery, You're supposed to use it like a condom to do it?
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm. Yeah. To cover it? Yeah.
Adrianna Ebron: This asshole gets a glove and puts it, and mind you gloves have been touch by people. This asshole gets a glove out of the latex glove box and puts it on it. [00:12:00] Loud, like, and this is why black women die I think I said that out loud.
Looks like a young guy. And I didn't care. I was like, This is why black women die. And so they do that and then they like, Oh, your fibroid. Then the baby is okay. And I'm like, So why are y'all gonna take him if he's okay? I was like, No, y'all not taking my baby.
I was like, I'll walk outta here. I couldn't walk. I'll walk outta here. And then they rolled me back to another room to go lay down while they, you know, check the numbers and all that stuff. And then they come back and say, Oh, you have a shrinking fibroid.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
Adrianna Ebron: Okay. So you always trying to be delivered for a shrinking fibroid. Like, you know, I like, it was just insane.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
Adrianna Ebron: So they say that,
Brandy Breth: Let everyone take that in for a second.
Flo Speakman: Right.
Brandy Breth: You know, our listeners, our watchers, it's like, okay, now can we breathe? I know. I need to breathe after hearing this. Cause it's all, It's all of it. So emotional. [00:13:00] Emotional. Oh my gosh.
Adrianna Ebron: It was so bad and I was by myself.
Flo Speakman: Well, and you were by yourself.
Adrianna Ebron: By myself.
Flo Speakman: You had to, you had to advocate for yourself while you're bleeding and in pain, which again, If it was a fibroid, no wonder you were in pelvic pain, right?
Adrianna Ebron: Mm-hmm.
Flo Speakman: Like if the thing burst or if it, like, Anyway, moving on.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah.
Brandy Breth: Yeah. But this is
Flo Speakman: I'm angry.
Adrianna Ebron: I know I was angry about the bill.
Brandy Breth: That's why Let's take a breath.
Adrianna Ebron: I got a bill for $8,000 and the bill was trying to say, I delivered my baby. And I was like,
Brandy Breth: Oh hell no.
Adrianna Ebron: They charged me for, they charge for a hospital stay.
Flo Speakman: Which you didn't stay cause you got up and walked out even though you couldn't.
Adrianna Ebron: I left. I left after I, Yeah, they said it was a shrinking fiber. I put my clothes on, I drove my happy ass back to Brooklyn from Staten Island. Outta here.
Brandy Breth: Wheel your ass or walk out something. Get out.
Adrianna Ebron: I don't know how but my mom always finds me wherever I'm at. My mom, I heard the phone ringing. I'm like, My mom was like, Hey. I was like,
Brandy Breth: Oh, she, she knew.
Adrianna Ebron: I was like, How did you [00:14:00] find me? She was, You told me what hospital you at. And I was like, Oh, okay. So I just had to call to , get the emergency room number. And so she's like, I hate that you're by yourself and I hate that he's not with you. And she was like, You need to come home. And I was like, No. By this time I had already started dialysis. So I also had, I sent my whole morning in the hospital and still had to go to dialysis that evening.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
when I get to dialysis, the doctor who, I guess they said he was taking notes and he called me and was like, We really think you need to get back to Baltimore where they can take better care of you.
Adrianna Ebron: So you don't have trust in your practice and your MFM practice at SIU that I have to go all the way back to Baltimore, to Johns Hopkins Hospital.
Flo Speakman: Oh, I was gonna say best hospital, almost best hospital on the East Coast is in Baltimore.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah.
Brandy Breth: So how were you feeling when you said, What was your initial [00:15:00] reaction? Obviously shock.
Adrianna Ebron: I was like,
Brandy Breth: Like what?
Adrianna Ebron: I was like on the, in the chair and I just was like, Okay. But I, my plans were always to go back to Baltimore to deliver my son. Yeah. I just, yeah. Also, I should say this on the, on the podcast, if you are not planning to stay with the care that you begin with, do not tell them because
Flo Speakman: Oh yeah.
Adrianna Ebron: It will show and how they take care of you or they won't accept you as a new patient.
Brandy Breth: Yes, I've heard that before.
Adrianna Ebron: they make more money with the delivery process. So you never, if you gonna change care, do not tell anybody.
Brandy Breth: I've heard that before. Things
Flo Speakman: that's horrible by the way that we have to even do that.
Brandy Breth: But, and, and it's,
Flo Speakman: but it's a thing.
Adrianna Ebron: You just change.
Brandy Breth: It's a thing.
Adrianna Ebron: Don't, no warning, just walk away and then do a request for your medical records.
Brandy Breth: So then would your, So since we were talking about insurance, was your insurance like transferring or going to John's Hopkins? Like,
Adrianna Ebron: Oh, Hopkins. Always everybody. So it was fine.
Brandy Breth: Yeah. So that wasn't a question. You're like, Okay then. I guess I'm [00:16:00] going earlier than I thought.
Adrianna Ebron: Oh, mind saying it's on the podcast. My ex-husband works for John Hopkins, so I still there. That's, I still had that insurance. Okay. I was still on his insurance because the promise when we separated was you can be on this, on my insurance until you get your transplant.
Because in order to even get on the transplant list, you need insurance to be verified to say, Yes, this person is approved, this person is insuranced.
Brandy Breth: God, you know, you just had so many angels see the over you. This is like, I mean, obviously your journey is a lot of highs and lows, but that's just like, ugh. The miracles. The miracles. Okay. So I understood about, Yeah, so you're transferring to John's Hopkins.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah, so I was able to transfer because I was, I had two insurances. Yeah. But Hopkins was my [00:17:00] secondary., so I knew I would be fine. Um,
Brandy Breth: So just that sentence. Hopkins was my secondary.
Adrianna Ebron: Well, their insurance was my secondary
Brandy Breth: I love it.
Adrianna Ebron: The hospital wasn't .
Cause you Oh, ok.
I was already, I that's
beginning, I was already at Hopkins for my regular OB and for my nephrologist was at, was at Hopkins. So I was already in the Hopskins.
Brandy Breth: Thanks for clarifying that. Cause for my sake too. Okay, good.
Yeah.
Yeah. Lemme . No, this is good cuz I was gonna ask her like, um,
Like that's what her birthing, I was asking if she had like a birth plan.
Adrianna Ebron: That's a great question.
So we would, I, I know show Yeah. Text about like television shows and stuff. So I get, um, I get the phone call in January, 2021 to get a transplant. Mm-hmm. . I called him and I say, Oh my God, I'm, I'm getting my transplant today.
Adrianna Ebron: He was like, Oh, I'm so happy for you. [00:18:00] Congratulations, right?
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm. , I come outta surgery the next, I wake up the next morning, the social worker is in there and she's like, Hey, Miss Ebron, do you have a updated insurance card? I said, Oh, um, let me call, My ex-husband He probably has, Cause you know, every January you get a new insurance card with some company.
He probably has the new one. I probably didn't get it. Then he, they said, Oh, we called him. He didn't answer. Oh, they said he's not at work. So then I called him mm-hmm. And I said, Hey, do you have the um, insurance card that came out in January?
Adrianna Ebron: He was like, No. Why would I have your insurance card? You not on my insurance. I was like, What? I was like, What do you mean? I said, I talk to you all the time and you
Brandy Breth: Yes.
Adrianna Ebron: Didn't tell me that I was, my insurance was canceled. He was like, You had a baby with somebody else? Why would you still be be my insurance?
I said, I had that baby with somebody [00:19:00] else. Almost two. Cause by this time it was 2021. I said almost two years ago.
Brandy Breth: Yeah.
Adrianna Ebron: And you always said, Oh, I said, you always said I would be on your insurance. I up until I got my, whenever I got my transplant been.
Brandy Breth: Oh, he went that way. Oh my God. So you go in this whole time without,
Adrianna Ebron: No.
Flo Speakman: You ended up.
Adrianna Ebron: I went from November to January. It wasn't that long, but I still, Yeah, like $20,000.
Brandy Breth: No, before he, No, I know, but like he didn't tell you like, oh my God
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah. So it was a couple of, I mean, thank God there's a lot of factors. Transplant. Yes. And Hopkins was like, you know, we heard about what was your insurance? We're gonna cover your hospital stay for the week and then just get you set up with like medication and things. And then Medicare just back paid it.
I applied for Medicare didn't, I didn't get it until June, but it just, they just backdated [00:20:00] it and it was fine, but, um,
Brandy Breth: Yeah. But still that's so crazy. I don't
Flo Speakman: love Hopkins.
So on, on a happier note of your birth plan, did you have a birth plan? Um, I mean, Okay. So given all what you said and you shared,
Adrianna Ebron: I still had like, until I started dialysis and I, and the MFN. Started explaining like I probably would've to get a C-section.
I still was like, Oh, I'm going because I, in my mind, I was still going into like 36 weeks. So yeah, like at first I was your vision of it all. The vision I had was like everyone, I natural
all that stuff, like natural birth. I knew I couldn't do at home because of my health condition, but I definitely wanted to go natural for so many different reasons. And the music playing and just all those, just lots of different natural things that are really good for birth, um, for women is what I had [00:21:00] in my mind.
But when I got to, um, when I got home to Johns Hopkins and saw the MFM there, he was like very black and white with it. Like, you know, All right, Staten Island, their team did a great job getting you here, but here's the reality. We will deliver you at 36 weeks with via C-section. Um, we'll bring you in, we'll schedule it and we'll get it done.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
Adrianna Ebron: And he's like, you know, most likely it, it, it might not be me. He was like, and then, and my, my aunt was there, um, and was asking him like, Well how old is the person delivering? Like, you know, cuz he's like, Oh, the residents only deliver and you always have an attending and a fellow in the room. And um, and my aunt was asking him questions and then, um, he explained it and I was just like, Okay, oh, you know, 36 weeks.
Literally I leave the office [00:22:00] that the same day I go to get my go, go to get my 22 week scan. And they're like, Your cervix is open. I'm like, huh, No, I already had kidney problems like.
Brandy Breth: Yeah,
Adrianna Ebron: Why do I have women's health issues too? I dunno. So I go, Yeah. It's like, Oh, your cervix is open. We need to keep you overnight to monitor you and figure out how to get you closed up.
So I go, I stay overnight for two days. They, they, um, offered me to do a cerclage or a pessary. I wanted the pessary. So a cerclage is like, you actually had to go on a goal, undergo anesthesia, and your, your cervix is closed with a tie. Um, but it's dumb. It's like a, it's a surgical procedure. A pessary is like a little button that the doctor [00:23:00] comes in and puts their hand into your vagina to put the button on your cervix, and it just kind of closes your cervix temporarily until it's time to deliver.
did you know about this Flo?
Flo Speakman: Oh, yeah.
Brandy Breth: Oh,
Flo Speakman: I'm telling you.
Brandy Breth: This is why she's our, my, my partner.
Flo Speakman: Like I know all of this stuff. Yeah. Yep. So, so,
Brandy Breth: WOW.
Adrianna Ebron: So I got the pessary it makes you stink. It just, it makes you stink because it's like, it's just holding all the gunk stuff.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm. ,
Mm-hmm. ,
Flo Speakman: there's no, there's no ability for the body, for the vagina to cleanse itself. It's, it's, yeah. It's a,
Adrianna Ebron: I was like,
Brandy Breth: and it stays until you're ready to have give birth?
Adrianna Ebron: I was like, Oh, this stinks. Um, Oh, I shoot. I'm sorry.
Brandy Breth: Well, how did it feel? I mean, you're like, how it stanks.
Adrianna Ebron: It didn't feel like anything, but I did forget to mention that I was on progesterone, which they also give to, um, women who have fertility, go through fertility treatment.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm. I was on a heavy dose of progesterone to kind of get the cervix to close because my cervix, I [00:24:00] knew my cervix was dilated since I was in New York, since I was like eight, I had been one centimeter dilated since 18 weeks. I think. So, so
Flo Speakman: One centimeter's not that bad, but still that's something you don't want.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah. It's not, it's not, it's not safe. Um
Flo Speakman: mm-hmm.
Adrianna Ebron: And so I had been on progesterone since then. I was doing inserts. I was doing suppository progesterone, and then I started doing the pill. Once they gave me the pessary, then they were like, You can take it, but it's not gonna do much now.
Like, you know, like saying like, you're, Cause oh, by the time I got to Hopkins, my cervix was like funneling and it was soft and, and it was, and it was, um, the pessary only could do it so much, which is why I didn't get Yeah. Which is why I'm assuming that I, they didn't even give me the star clothes. They didn't explain this to me that at the time.
But the more I've done research, I'm like, Oh yeah, I was too soft to even you're with was no point. So [00:25:00] I go home. Three days later, I'm bleeding. I call the emergency, I call labor and delivery and they say, Come on in. If you fill up a pad, come in. I wasn't filling up a pad, but the bleeding would not stop. And I was like, I don't feel comfortable coming home.
Brandy Breth: Yeah.
Adrianna Ebron: So I get to the hospital, get I get to labor delivery and you, you know, uh, they were monitoring the baby, monitoring my heart rate, all that fun stuff.
Um, and then you have to sign paperwork in case you deliver. Um,
Brandy Breth: and you had 22 weeks, right?
Adrianna Ebron: Mm-hmm. , I was 22 weeks, 20. I had to sign paperwork for delivery. And then the anesthesiologist came in to explain like if I had to get an emergency C-section that night, um, here's what has to happen. Um, and then I also got steroid shots for the baby's lungs.
Mm-hmm. in your butt. And then we couldn't figure out why I was bleeding. [00:26:00] I didn't have to deliver, but we couldn't figure out why I was bleeding. The bleeding stopped after like a day or so, and then they came in and they were like, We found something else wrong. Um, you have, you have, um, and so intermittent blood flow between you and your son. I'm like, What does that mean?
Brandy Breth: WHAT?
Adrianna Ebron: They were like,
Brandy Breth: Oh my gosh.
Adrianna Ebron: Um, It is something that if you go home, you have to come Tuesdays and Thursdays to come get it checked, or you can stay here and we'll check it twice a week as well. Consider when I had dialysis six days a week while I was.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
Flo Speakman: When did you start dialysis? At what, how, how many weeks were you?
Adrianna Ebron: I forget, I wanna say I was like 19 [00:27:00] weeks.
Flo Speakman: Okay.
Adrianna Ebron: No, I had to be, if I, if I went to State Island University at 18 weeks and I must have started at 17 weeks dialysis. Okay. I remember the date. It was Memorial Day. I just can't remember how many weeks it was.
Flo Speakman: Right
the week I started dialysis was the week I went to, the week they tried to out, I saw dialysis that Monday. I went to State Island University that Saturday, June 1st.
Brandy Breth: And then you had you go to dialysis at night after you left the State Island. Yeah. So that's when you started.
I took the option of staying in the hospital and I was, uh,
Brandy Breth: yeah. Can you share about what that was? What, when they found out?
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah, just for it kinda. I'm gonna be honest, I still don't one hundred percent understand it, but basically the blood flow and the umbilical cord should go forward, right?
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
Adrianna Ebron: right?
Brandy Breth: Well, it's, It's not safe.
Adrianna Ebron: It should [00:28:00] go. It should. It should flow. It should be a good flow. But what was happening was like the flow wasn't continuous, it was stopping.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Adrianna Ebron: And the dangerous side is that it could s tart reversing.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
Adrianna Ebron: which meant that to reverse blood flow, which is typically caused by like women who have high blood pressure and other like really high risk health issues.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
the reverse blood flow would give him like poison and like all like the bad, like bad nutrient, like bad stuff.
Brandy Breth: All bad stuff. Yeah.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah. So the goal was every Tuesday and Thursday to check the flow. Mm-hmm. , once the flow reversed, it was time to take him out. Um, and then they came back.
So I was there for like two weeks and then they came in and they were like, Okay, he has one more issue happening. He is not growing. [00:29:00] So he has, Your baby has what's called IUGR. Intrauterine growth restriction, what happened in Astin's case, he was 25 weeks, but like, he came, when he was born, he was 27 weeks, but he came out the size of a 25 weeker. So what was happening almost four weeks in me staying in the hospital was he was, um, he, he just, his size was still catching up with him. . So, um, during my time in the hospital, I went on a NICU tour.
I had a NICU fellow that came in and chatted with me about all the different machines that, you know, they had available. and that the goal as a team from my doctors and the NICU doctors, everyone was watching. Everyone was watching me super close. I had a team of doctors, NICU doctors watching Ashton.
I had my team here. I had three NICU. Nephrology was watching me every day, [00:30:00] watching my kidneys and watching me on dialysis. And then I had MFM really four and then regular OB.Every day I meeting with these people every single day. Which felt it felt like I, you know, I was, I felt obviously I was depressed being in the hospital, four walls.
My mom and my dad would come almost every day. My dad put, um, a fire stick in a television and,
Brandy Breth: Aw, go dad. Um, did you, but you felt, it sounds like you felt supported by the hospital staff NICU staff.
Adrianna Ebron: Definitely. I definitely, I always say I felt
Brandy Breth: even though you had the four walls and your,
Adrianna Ebron: I had a primary nurse that was amazing. She and I are still pretty close.
Brandy Breth: Love it. And yes, love the nurses.
Adrianna Ebron: And the depressing part was like being like the, my hardest days were Sundays because every one in my family was busy. Um, My nurse wasn't there. The doctors didn't really come in on Sundays, so it was quiet [00:31:00] and I didn't like it quiet. One time I tried to go to Target, which is like five minutes, like 10 minutes away from Hopkins, and they were like, Oh, you can go, What do you do campus?
And I, you can walk around campus. And I was like, Okay. Oh, okay. So I'm like, like Target's down the street.
Brandy Breth: You did not stay in campus, did you?
Adrianna Ebron: Oh, no, I didn't. My, my mom was like, so, and my mom, my aunt, I'm, Oh, they said I can go to Target. And then, yeah, my mom was like, Really? I was like, Yeah. So did we get to the nurse's station?
And the doctor is there and she's like, What do you have to go, Do you have your purse? I, Oh, I'm gonna go to Target. She was like, You can't go to Target, . I said, You walk around campus.
Brandy Breth: Campus.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah. I was like, Oh. Oh, okay. So I'm like, But they, they had a Starbucks on campus. So one time my [00:32:00] sister came off.
Brandy Breth: There you go. I love it. Love it.
Adrianna Ebron: Starbucks
like my plan is to talk more and more about my stay in the hospital to encourage more women to feel comfortable with staying.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
Adrianna Ebron: To also feel kind of even sharing about their stay. Because when I started talking about my passery and having to stay in the hospital, that's when I met. That's where all these people that were already in my life were like, Oh, that happened to me too. I'm like, Well, damn, You shoulda have told somebody.
Brandy Breth: Exactly. Which now someone's gonna listen to your podcast and then they know. Exactly. That's right. Cause you had a, um, Cause you were able to, when we're talking about birth plan, of course you're like, Oh yes, I want this. But in the reality is you knew what you were really gonna have.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brandy Breth: You know, and not a lot of people go in knowing they're gonna have a plan C-section, I had my second, you know, child, I had a plan C-section and you know, so I was able to create the experience in the actual delivery room and prep and before, Well how was it like for you now going into 27 weeks Right? Or like, what was the time [00:33:00] that like you knew this was happening.
Adrianna Ebron: It wasn't 30. Right. So I lost out over 36 week thing that I had planned. , the goal was just to make it, the goal was just to get him, the goal from every, all four team members was to make it. Until he got to a pound, we could get him to, if we could beef him up, give him to be a pound is go time.
Brandy Breth: So all the listeners and viewers that could actually be on the birth plan , because, cause we're gonna have, talk about this stuff about, cuz this, you know, Delivery Diaries and on this podcast it's about, you know what people don't tell you? Can we hear from the horse's mouth? Can we hear from people's experiences and their stories?
Adrianna Ebron: I definitely think getting the baby and two pounds is, if you can get the two pounds is even better. a pound and a half is, is more viable. Um, viable. That's the biggest word. It's viability. Is that what you hear? That's what I heard about entire pregnancy. Especially in those four weeks. he finally makes it to a pound.
I felt, [00:34:00] I felt the onset of, uh, preeclampsia of the Sunday before I delivered, I couldn't see. People were talking to me and um, I had no idea how sick I was, but my tech, she was like, she came in that night. She was one of my favorite techs. She came in that night. Once they finally got my blood pressure, that whole entire Sunday, my blood pressure was like through the roof.
Adrianna Ebron: They were doing everything to get it down. And I found out later on that they, they thought, they thought I would deliver that day, but I didn't know. Cause I was so, I felt so ill at whatever happened. I was like, whatever. Like I was done.
Brandy Breth: And how many weeks were you already?
Adrianna Ebron: 20. I had just, I must have just said 27. I think I turned my weeks were on Monday. Yeah. Cause I, yeah, it was like, I was like right at 20 almost 27. I would've been 27 the next day. . So she text me, she's like, Oh, um, do you wanna go see the Jesus statue today? And I was like, [00:35:00] What? And I was like, Sure. Like, you know, I've been sleeping, I've been pretty much in and out of it all day.
And I was finally like up and feeling better. She was like, I'm gonna roll you down to the Jesus statue. And I'm like, Okay,
Brandy Breth: Let's go see Jesus.
She's
Adrianna Ebron: like, And we'll go to the statue, we'll go to the chapel. And I had, again, I had no idea that they wanted me to live every day, but she did. So when she came in, she's like, mm-hmm , we need to go, you know, go take care of this.
So I go to the Jesus statue, which I, I had never gone to since I've been at Hopkins. And I went to the chapel to say a prayer and light a candle for Astin. And then, um, I go back to my room and then like the rest of the week is pretty, like quiet, still doing a check. Tuesday's check was fine. Thursday morning I woke up and I felt absolutely horrible.
Um, and I didn't eat. And everyone on the entire floor knew that I [00:36:00] had to eat before I went to dialysis, or it was going to be hell to pay when I got back because dialysis is three hours. Oh. Said three hours on the machine. And I was like, , if y'all don't let me eat before heads are going roll.
Brandy Breth: Because you don't eat right.
Adrianna Ebron: It was very clear, like the doctors everybody knew like, Do not let her go down without eating . Um, so I get down and they're like, Are you okay? I'm like, No, I don't feel, I really don't feel good I feel really nauseous. And so the, the nephrologist comes over to me at dialysis and he looks at me. He's like, You be like, you don't feel well.
And I was like, I don't, I wanna go back to my room. Can I cut my session early? It's a big thing on dialysis. You never wanna keep cutting your sessions early because you're not getting the entire treatment.
I'm glad I did. I get upstairs, I get the check from my Tuesday, Thursday check, and the, the blood flow between me and Ashton have reversed and [00:37:00] also I could barely see anything. Once again, my pressure went through the roof and then
Brandy Breth: The pressure.
Adrianna Ebron: My mom walks in, everything's happening at like, literally simultaneously. I'm like, this is the day.
Brandy Breth: Did they tell you had preeclampsia already by then?
with the blurring. That's hardest part. Yeah. One of the, The sign, Yeah.
Flo Speakman: That's part of high blood pressure. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Adrianna Ebron: So, um, so yeah, so the doctor sits to my bed and she's. Um, the blood flow is reversed. He's sitting pretty low, so you can still push him out. I started screaming at her. I was like, Why would I push him out? He's a pound.
Brandy Breth: I just got what you said. Yeah.
Adrianna Ebron: Why would I, why would, why with high blood pressure.
Brandy Breth: Oh lord. Who said that again,
Adrianna Ebron: Doctor.
Brandy Breth: Maybe she thought a vision of you having this
Adrianna Ebron: I said what are you talking about like, No, I'm not pushing him out one pound. And she's like, Why are you crying? My mom was like, Because you just told her she has to deliver [00:38:00] via emergency c-section. So like, Astin's heart rate was dropping because of like the reverse blood flow.
So within like an hour of me being upstairs and talking to everybody, they're pushing me back up, pushing me around to, uh, the, OR.
Brandy Breth: Wow.
Adrianna Ebron: Super scary moments in time. Yeah. But I think I delivered within those two hours and yeah, that was my prenatal journey.
Brandy Breth: Wait did we get to delivery.
Flo Speakman: Yeah. We're not even to the, to the
Adrianna Ebron: I know, I'm sorry. I'm, uh,
Brandy Breth: No, don't be sorry. Dang. Like, that was part of it. That's really, that's, that's, yeah.
Flo Speakman: And honestly, that was really super important right? To, to really for the audience and for people, you know, It's, it's what we're here to do is help educate, right? And if your story helps somebody understand, like, this journey is possible. and you know, Yeah. You're, you know, [00:39:00] women are strong enough to, to do this and you know, getting 'em to one pound, that was the goal.
And you were in your right mind to be, to say it. Uh, no, I'm not pushing .
Adrianna Ebron: like, No, you lost the mind.
Brandy Breth: Whereas it's the opposite. Moms wanna push but not have this.
Adrianna Ebron: I'm not. Mm-hmm. I'm not that person. So it was scary. It was scary to be rolled into like, you're on the slab, , you know, headed to the ER, you know, you're there for a couple, hours wait. So wait. Um, things are coming at me now. So you're in the ER for a couple hours because obvious, Oh, just say two hours. You said something about two hours.
I wanna say that's 1:30, 2 o'clock. I delivered at 3, 3:59.
Brandy Breth: Got it. Okay.
Adrianna Ebron: Um, emergency C-section. my biggest fear was that he was still born. So I kept saying like, I just want him to come out alive. And um, I had learned
was [00:40:00] that Beyonce? I know this sounds cliche, but I think it was Beyonce that I was reading about her pregnancy journey and she was saying that you can connect with your child mentally through the womb and just talk in your head. And I just was like, Okay. Like I was talking to him the whole time, like, Okay, we're gonna be okay.
We gonna be okay. Like, let's just get this over with. You gonna come out. Okay. But then like the fear started to settle in more when he, when he got out and I was like, Mom, is he like breathing? Like is he okay. And they like, yeah, they just shut, like, you know, they just held him up real quick and like whisked him off.
he came out. Like they were, so yes, they talk about it. Asked any of my doctors, they were like, We've never seen a one pound come out like that. He was like, What the hell is going on.
Brandy Breth: Yeah. So for the listeners going on here and
Adrianna Ebron: me back up, like he came out grimacing and hitting us, I'm like, What? Like, yes.
Flo Speakman: That's good.
Adrianna Ebron: He's, he's, [00:41:00] he was hitting our hands and I'm like, What?
Flo Speakman: He's like, don't hurt my mommy.
Brandy Breth: He wasn't like coddled or just like, Oh, he was like hello.
Adrianna Ebron: One pound baby talking about, get off of me, everybody get off. Put me back in.
Brandy Breth: What's, what's going on? That's a healthy sign.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah, it was.
Brandy Breth: As far as that goes. Mm-hmm. as far as that goes. Yeah. One step at a time with him being out now, so. Yep. So he is out. So he, he delivered. Mm-hmm. , He's, he's out in the world, so swept him up. And what was the emotion when you, when you saw him? Like, did they hold him up to you?
Were you able to, Did you have the curtain. obviously
Adrianna Ebron: I had the curtain and they were holding him to my right. I remember over on their table, but they had to get him intubated right away 73 days in the step down unit. 92 days in the NICU.
Mm-hmm. , He was intubated with a breathing tube for 60 days. We [00:42:00] tried to extubate him after 30 days. Found out he had pneumonia. That was the scariest thing in my life because he almost died and I had to hit the cold button on him. I know I say, I say it sound, I say, I say it with zero emotion now. Because when you watch your child fight for their life inside of a plastic container that has humility in it, it is, um, it is a place in your heart that you'll just never get that sweetness back.
Like it is so cold and it's just so raw that it's just. There is a part of me that like, almost can't cry most of the time. But it's very hard for me to cry. For me to cry now. It's very, it is so hard.
And I also think I cried so much during the NICU that like, that's why I can't cry anymore,
Flo Speakman: But you cried yourself out.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah, yeah, I probably myself out cried yourself. Um, so yeah, we um, you know,
he had lots of different health [00:43:00] challenges, brain bleeds, lung issues. He had pneumonia one time. Um, if you meet other NICU moms, that's pretty common and it happens a lot.
Yeah. Um, so we were blessed that I am, I was blessed that, you know, we only came home on oxygen. I didn't have to come home with an entire medical team. Have lots of friends whose children came home with like a G-tube and a trach. But we didn't have to get that. Um, and I thank God, look, God knew that that was something I couldn't handle because I was still on dialysis.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm.
Adrianna Ebron: when he came home from the NICU
Brandy Breth: for yourself, taking care of yourself.
Adrianna Ebron: God was alright. I got you. I'm a make sure he don't need the trach. One of y'all gotta be okay when you go home, you know?
So we came home on a little bit of oxygen. and then like two weeks later, we were all stuck in the house. And um, so yeah, we came, actually came home from the hospital in January 14. Caught the flu. We're caught. We're [00:44:00] talking about covid. Y'all just so
Flo Speakman: Yeah.
Brandy Breth: People are
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah. Oh yeah, sorry. Talking about covid. Then he caught the flu from the daggone social worker that came to my house.Astin had a fever and all kinds of craziness for her to take him back to the hospital and up only being home for two weeks.
I was so pissed.
Brandy Breth: So just to give context, everyone, So not only are you having a baby in your health situation and then Astin's health situation, now we're having it, you're having a baby in the pandemic situation.
Adrianna Ebron: Mm-hmm.
Flo Speakman: A baby on oxygen at home. You're on dialysis, Like, you can't not go to dialysis. Right, Right. Like, that's like, so you're, ugh. Terrifying.
where did you, where do you pull pulled your strength from? feel like my, my village and also the FSGS pregnancy mom group was really like good.
meeting like moms online who were also in the NICU family members and friends who had NICU [00:45:00] babies. I have a strong faith in God. Um, but I definitely think that those six months of Astin been in the NICU almost six months. I had to like question everything. I'm like, are you listening to me like why? Why am I like, And it wasn't until like this year where I was like, Oh my God, I definitely told God that I would do anything for that child when I found out I was pregnant and he was like, Yes I got you.
Adrianna Ebron: You was, didn't phone anymore, didn't have a job, like everything was stripped for me but my son. My health was so bad. Like everything I you could think of was just happening. And I think [00:46:00] back to that moment when I said, whatever I gotta do to keep, keep this child.and part of that was taking care of yourself.
Yes. Mm-hmm.
Brandy Breth: Making sure that you are strong and healthy. I will say that, um, I did not see, and I mentioned this to Brandy before, in the past when Astin was in the NICU I knew I had postpartum depression right away, like in my six week appointment.
Adrianna Ebron: You know, they give you the checklist. I definitely had it. Hopkins has a mood disorder clinic for women. They did not have a therapist anymore that could like help you. All they had were people who would give out prescriptions and I was anti-prescription at the time. Now I'm not at all, but at that time I was like, I don't want that.
Like, you know, I just, I really want somebody to talk to.Even like when I was [00:47:00] in the hospital for those four weeks, they were like, Oh, the only way you can get a therapist is to be in the psych ward. You can see somebody at the mood disorder clinic when you leave. But we can't, You can't have it. This is only in 2019. It's not like back when it was so stigmatized. ,
we don't have inpatient, we don't have inpatient options for a therapist to come see you, you can talk to the chaplain or the social worker.
Flo Speakman: Right now I wanna stop right there just for a second and pause and really like let that sink in. One of the premier hospitals, Yes. One of the premier teaching hospitals in the world, in our country, in the world, in the world does not have inpatient on staff psychologists. But for, That's OB bananas. Mm-hmm. for For what? For anything. Probably for anything, honestly. But, But we know for sure for OB high risk pregnancy has preeclampsia is knows, she's [00:48:00] gonna have a preemie, no therapist. That is something that we have to change.
That is something that we culturally have to change. Mm-hmm. and from in our medical system, we need to change. Cause a lot of people don't need antidepressants. They just need somebody to talk to.
Adrianna Ebron: Mm-hmm. . And that's some people I was back and forth. I was begging.
Flo Speakman: Unbelievable.
Adrianna Ebron: I was, I was back forth and the social worker was new. She was like, Oh, I used to be on a cancer ward and now I'm new to OB, but you know, just tell me what you need. I can help. And I'm just like, I don't really wanna, Yeah,
Brandy Breth: you guys are our listeners. You gotta go on the YouTube and watch cuz our reactions, Right? I'm like, I'm like, I'm hot. I'm right now.
Flo Speakman: Yeah.
Brandy Breth: I'm just looking back like, whew.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah.
Brandy Breth: Okay.
Adrianna Ebron: And so I went to, so, so once Astin was in the NICU, I went to the mood disorder clinic. They didn't have a therapist. I was like, I don't, well I don't want that. Yeah. I don't want, you know, someone that's would just [00:49:00] give me medicine. So I, you know,
Brandy Breth: You were proactive. Yeah, I was. And then there was no resource else.
Adrianna Ebron: So, um, when Astin went to the step down hospital, Mount Washington, they had a therapist that comes to bedside.
Flo Speakman: Oh, that's good.
Adrianna Ebron: And that was, and I still remember her and she was so helpful. And, um, we, we would go on walks and talk outside because the hospital was, um, the children's hospital, but it's like, has a really beautiful campus and oh, we would go outside,
Brandy Breth: children's hospitals, gotta love it.
Adrianna Ebron: Yep. Mm-hmm. . And so I did have somebody, but then when I came home, when he came home from the NICU, I didn't have anybody. And, um, my intrusive thoughts got really bad when he came home. And I, I imagine that it's what happens normally when, when moms bring their children home from like the hospital, like after like a couple days of being there.
Brandy Breth: Um, [00:50:00] I always wonder how I survived that, but I, I still don't really know be, and I never told anybody about my, like, I never told anybody my intrusive thoughts. I kept them to myself up until last year. it's the real thing.
Adrianna Ebron: It's a real thing. It was normal. I knew, I knew that. Okay. So I know that it's not normal to have intrusive thoughts, but I knew that it was something that came with what I had been through and something was a part of postpartum depression. What I didn't know until 2021 was that it was six different type of mood disorders and where I fell in those mood disorders.
Brandy Breth: It's a spectrum.
Adrianna Ebron: It's a spectrum
Brandy Breth: that were not talked about, that we don't learn about that we think. Yeah. It's like, was it for you, For me was like a inside of postpartum depression? Was it like a outer body experience? Because you're having these thoughts, but you're like, not really wanna, um,
Adrianna Ebron: No.
Brandy Breth: Be action in these thoughts?
Adrianna Ebron: I knew that I, it, it wasn't an out of body [00:51:00] experience, but I did know that every time I had those thoughts that it was just postpartum and I would be like, Oh, that's postpartum.
Flo Speakman: Adriana. I, I hope that there are, you know, there's a, a mom out there who's listening, who's in the midst of it, who hears that? and can, can, can take that in.
Adrianna Ebron: Mm-hmm.
Flo Speakman: because that's huge. The ability to be able to sit with the feeling or sit with the thought and be like, Okay, that's not reality. That is, that is something that's happening to me. It is not who I am. Mm-hmm. , that's strength. I mean, that's pure strength.
Adrianna Ebron: I also do wish that I felt comfortable telling somebody.
Brandy Breth: Yeah.
Adrianna Ebron: I do wish that I felt okay with a 24 hour hold because I knew what would happen if I spoke up. I won't, I will not lie and say like, I don't regret not speaking up. And like you said, I end up [00:52:00] making it through. But I, I definitely encourage, especially women of color to say something because we are so afraid that somebody's gonna say we're weak because we said it.
And, and you're not weak. You, You're not weak at all. Like, You, if you pick up a sharp object and your mind says something different, that that should, that it really should say that is postpartum OCD or postpartum depression. Maybe even post
Flo Speakman: psychosis
Adrianna Ebron: psychosis. And you need to say something, especially if you don't feel like yourself. And that's psychosis is like, when I found out what postpartum psychosis. Psychosis, I was like, okay, I didn't have that. I definitely had OCD, which is closer to psychosis. I wish I would've, um, I wish that I probably would've gotten like medication right before Astin came home. Had I known, I had no idea. Like him being home would trigger me.
Brandy Breth: But we have no idea.
Flo Speakman: That's, that's the thing, right? They don't, it's, it's, Oh, you hear a little bit about postpartum depression occasionally, or like, you'll pick up a pamphlet at the OB's office while you're [00:53:00] waiting for your appointment or whatever, but it is not part of standard care. At least it doesn't seem like it.
Brandy Breth: No. What it is you go home,
Flo Speakman: the discussion
Brandy Breth: Learn to put your baby on your boob or bottle.
Flo Speakman: Right.
Brandy Breth: Sleep when the baby sleeps. Oh, wait a minute. What about the mom? What about the mom care, Like you just said, Flo. It's like, it's not, part of,
Flo Speakman: It doesn't seem to be part of our, And like we live in California, we're super progressive out here. I don't remember any of my, any, any of my doctors talking to me about postpartum depression, let alone the possibility of postpartum psychosis. so, I've been talking about it since I joined. I think how I found out about the spectrum was like from Clubhouse actually, and joining the Maternal Mental Health Coalition. And that's how I learned about it. And I was like, Oh, I'm gonna be on this thing forever. Like, yes, I'm, And then, um, yeah, I also didn't speak up because I could lose my place on the transplant list. [00:54:00] So if you say that first,
Brandy Breth: Oh my gosh,
Adrianna Ebron: get hospitalized the depression, you will be taking off the list until you are show that you have some type of progress and you can get back on. but do they drop you down to the bottom at that point? I guess it doesn't work that way.
She annoyed the hell outta me and everybody. Oh, she's so cool. Cause she hope you get money. Okay.
Brandy Breth: And yeah. Yeah. It's the system.
Adrianna Ebron: I think that I definitely think dialysis is a big part of it. Like, was like.
Brandy Breth: It sounds like. Well, yeah. Cause your whole situation is very unique, Not unique to others, but
Adrianna Ebron: that would definitely adding to the postpartum.
Flo Speakman: Well, scary. You couldn't bring him with you though. No. Could you?
Adrianna Ebron: No. And then I ended up having to get a ride because my car would be possessed like two, I think after he had the flu. We came home, like my car was repossessed that weekend.
Flo Speakman: Oh, Adrianna.
Adrianna Ebron: And my cell phone was off. So it was like, Is
Brandy Breth: is that when your village and family?
Adrianna Ebron: I definitely [00:55:00] feel like my
Brandy Breth: village pulled through or
Adrianna Ebron: definitely stepped in, but, um, I had issues with my mom, but she wanted to control the situation and sometimes she wouldn't watch him and that add, that made it worse. Um, I was trying to work and then I had to quit. Um, I had like an outburst on a student, which I mm-hmm. you know, I fully regret, but I know, I know that what that was. You know, I had to keep this baby at home with on oxygen and I'm like, you know, my like, my life is crazy.
Flo Speakman: Right? Yeah. And again, that goes to like, we talk about policy. Sometimes Brandy, like, you know, in other countries you would have had a year off mm-hmm. to be a mom. Mm-hmm. , right? Like, there are other places where we're not so tied to to work and yeah. God.
Brandy Breth: You would have time for healing.
Flo Speakman: Healing.
Adrianna Ebron: I say village because [00:56:00] some of my family was there and the people who I thought would be a more, like, they were there, but it was just like, it just was lots of guilt that came with them, not like them being there, if that makes sense.
Mm-hmm. , So it was like mm-hmm. ,
Brandy Breth: it does. And then how long then? Um, was Astin on oxygen for at home? Like when did, when was the time when things started to kinda, Sorry, say that again?
Adrianna Ebron: I think he came off of oxygen in April or May
Flo Speakman: So he came home in 2020 and then he was only on the oxygen for a few months.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah, a few months,
Brandy Breth: Was it around that time? So when did it start to feel like, okay, things are kinda like steady or there's now some kind of like
Adrianna Ebron: June, 2021. Okay. I did not hear birds chirping I don't remember anything about Spring 2020. I don't remember the trees in my neighborhood blooming. I don't [00:57:00] remember like what it looked like outside, what it felt like outside. I was in a complete fog. When Spring 2021 came, I was like, when did we get these trees?
Brandy Breth: You were in survival mode. You were in the survival mode in the thick of it.. Yeah. Right. And I'm piecing it together cuz of how we met. We knew each other in, uh, 2020. Yeah. And our kids, Yeah. Our babies were born in 2020. Sophia was born in in June and then, Or was it 20? Whichever.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah, Astin is 2019. Sophia was born in 2020.
Brandy Breth: Yes. So kind
Adrianna Ebron: of But they're close in age.
Brandy Breth: Yeah, the close in age. I, I remember that. So then when did you start? I'm kind of, I'm not fast forwarding to skip any other parts. Are you gonna talk about like him, but like when did you start Astin and Friends?
Adrianna Ebron: Oh, okay.
Brandy Breth: Like when around the time?
Adrianna Ebron: Everything. June, 2020. I mean, June. [00:58:00] Ah, hold on, hold on.
Brandy Breth: That's okay. for those? Listen and Friends, this is Adriana. This is Adriana's company, you know, and that's how we also met on, Okay, so Clubhouse CEO moms
Adrianna Ebron: started Aston and Friends. Cause I needed extra money and everybody was making t-shirts on the pandemic and I was like, Oh yeah, I wanna make t-shirts too.
So I started Astin and Friends June, 2020. And then like Christmas did really well. Everything, it went really well. Like I was having fun.
Brandy Breth: I thought it went well. Cause that's how I really. I'm wearing one of your shirts right now. After It's Fall Y'all. Okay. I'm representing
Flo Speakman: That's awesome.
Brandy Breth: For you, just watching the video
Flo Speakman: For listeners watching this is, we're taping, we're, you know, we're recording on September 23rd. So it is in fact fall.
Adrianna Ebron: It is Fall Y'all.
Brandy Breth: This podcast launched on the first day of fall, September 22nd. And, and I had to say that, you know, and Adrianna's our first guest. Yes. But yes. Um, because I'm bringing Astin and Friends, your company, [00:59:00] because I'm tying it now all to. Your whole experience you're sharing with us, like your car repossessed and, Oh, oh Lord, where's your money? You got what's going on here? And then, cuz when I first met, when I met you, you're in the, it seemed like you're in the height of Astin and Friends and we're ordering shirts from you and sweatshirts, so that's why I wanted to tie Oh, got
it.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah, yeah. June, 2020 is when I started it. And then like, you know, pretty much continued through last year. I got so overwhelmed and like exhausted from from 2021 Christmas season that like I, I, I haven't been marketing like I normally
Flo Speakman: You took a break.
Adrianna Ebron: I, I had to take a break because Yeah, I started school. I knew I was starting school this year and I started working full time and I can't, sometimes I cannot do all, Yeah. Can't do it. So I had been taking like few orders for some hoodies, um, and I want to do like a NICU give back next month. So that, and that'll kind of be about it [01:00:00] because I just, because I, I physically make the shirt, so I was like, I, yeah, I'll literally have it. Right. Blow flow. We're getting a hoodie, zero time, and you got a, and you have a toddler runner at your house and a have toddler. And he had, he's, he's autistic, so he has his therapy and so it, yeah.
Brandy Breth: And he just started school, right? Preschool.
Adrianna Ebron: He just started preschool. I just started school. Like, I'm like, Yep. Nope.
Brandy Breth: What are you studying?
Adrianna Ebron: Um, I am getting my PhD in. It's an interdisciplinary program. Um, but my research is going to be in education and ADHD and brown and black boys, K through five.
Flo Speakman: That is amazing. Good for you.
Brandy Breth: Dr. Dr. Adrianna.
Adrianna Ebron: Thank you.
your story is so rich with information and education and, and just, passion too, like, you know.
Adrianna Ebron: Mm-hmm.
So if you can, [01:01:00] we'll, first can you just share, like for our listeners and viewers, now you're discovering how you can manage or heal with your postpartum depression or postpartum OCD. Like, when do you feel like you have a, like, you have a handle on it from then when you came home until now, like what's the biggest difference or what can you share, what's helping you or what you wanna do to help you more? I don't know if you're in there yet.
Adrianna Ebron: I think once Aston and I got into a routine and once my dialysis got better, cuz I was struggling on dialysis at first mm-hmm. , um, that's when like my, my, my postpartum OCD slowed down as far as the side effects. I still had visions of being in a car accident every day. Mm-hmm. . So I think that I do still have, and so I do know that it's not postpartum anymore. Like this is like possibly like really OCD that I need to be diagnosed with if I'm still having the visions of the car accident, of a car accident mm-hmm. . Um, [01:02:00] but I, I am able to control it where I'm just like, I can tell myself like, that is Adrianna is okay. Like I, and I actually tell myself every day before I leave out the house.
You deserve peace. You deserve to be safe. No one is intentionally going to hurt you or drive a car into the side of you. It's okay. Mm-hmm. it's okay to be afraid to get into a car incident cuz you are afraid you wanna protect your cubs, but it's also okay to know that like you can go outside of your house and be, and you'll come back.
And so I just, a lot of self care, a lot of self talk, a lot of journaling and a lot of mirror talk, a lot of mirror work is how I get through.
Brandy Breth: And you said you're open to medication now, whereas before you weren't.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah, I'm definitely open to it. And, um, bipolar, schizophrenia is, uh, runs in my family. I know you're not supposed to call it manic depression anymore so that people would just be referred to it as a bipolar, but bipolar, Yeah. Yeah. I [01:03:00] have, um, several family members,who suffer from anxiety and depression. I, I have not had some of the same things they go through, but I definitely feel theI definitely still see like the reminisce of OCD and it comes out.
Um, I was telling Brandy like during that time of the month is when it gets to work. Mm-hmm.
Brandy Breth: Heightened. Yeah. And my doctor explained obviously after a birth, that's it, our hormone shift, the neurons and our brain are rewiring. I'm my memory. So it's, that's what I really wanted. So that's conversation post.
Adrianna Ebron: I had the memory of like, and now yes.
It's like, I think it's, it is PTSD from the NICU too, where like, well, yeah, I lost out on, I get so emotional about this part. I get, I love, I, I don't have, I lost core memories and it hurts my soul because I remember everything. That's the only thing I,
Brandy Breth: Well there is, is my, there [01:04:00] is. There's opportunity to have that healing.
I mean, this isn't just, this is beyond a podcast. This is beyond having information resources on our website when we launch Delivery Diaries. This is about a retreat. This is about healing. This is about mothers coming together, prenatal, postpartum, just to have a spiritual like healing and, and thoughtfulness and care that we all need and deserve.
Adrianna Ebron: Mm-hmm.
Brandy Breth: So there's, you're still on that journey.
Adrianna Ebron: Definitely.
Brandy Breth: And those core memories could come back. They're still, could still be there. We're still on that journey. Cause this is really fresh for you. You know, it's only been a couple years.
Flo Speakman: But they're in there somewhere, they're in there. Um, can you just share before we go why NICU Awareness Month? So we're, we're, we're having your episode specifically on NICU Awareness Month. And obviously you're sharing your journey, but can you also just share why it's important cuz you are an advocate of the NICU?
Adrianna Ebron: Yes. I think that it is, so I think every one should know about the nicu, whether you are, um, someone who plans to have a family or doesn't plan to [01:05:00] have a family, because then you can support a friend or family member that may be in the NICU. Um, the NICU can is a very delicate, um, scary place, um, where angels work And, um, I think it's really important to, to just become aware because you have people who might spend a day in the NICU that might spend an hour in the NICU.
Maybe even 20 minutes, but hearing that word is like, Whoa, my baby has to go where. And so bringing that awareness up is so important because then people are educated on it. I even in writing in my blog for this month, like, even if you're not high risk, you should take a tour of the NICU. You should meet the NICU doctors.
I truly believe that, because you never know. You never know. You never know. Yeah. I have had two people that I interviewed on live who had home births that weren't, that didn't go well, and they had to be rushed to the hospital and spent [01:06:00] two weeks in the NICU. Mm-hmm. , right? Mm-hmm.
So it's so important that you have a birth plan, but also that you understand that and give yourself grace that sometimes birth plans take a turn, and that having NICU Awareness Month helps you add NICU, the NICU to your birth plan just in case.
Brandy Breth: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. and additive awareness.
Flo Speakman: Yeah.
Brandy Breth: Can you share, um, your websites or how can people reach you or connect with your story more?
Adrianna Ebron: Every platform at AstinsMama on Pinterest and Instagram facebook, Twitter, and, my website is www.astinsmama.com
of course we'll have that on our sites. And I notes on the, the everything everywhere.
Adrianna Ebron: If you are listening yes my accent is Baltimore.
Brandy Breth: We talked about that before. What accent do we have? That's amazing. Oh my goodness. You know, and to when you said the, the NICU has angels, you know, Adriana, you are an angel. Yeah. Essence an angel. Thank you. Get angels all around [01:07:00] you.
Thank you for coming on and being our first guest.
Adrianna Ebron: Yes. I'm honored to be your first guest. As soon as you asked me, I'm like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.
Flo Speakman: Oh, that's awesome.
Brandy Breth: Taking the time.
Flo Speakman: And, and we appreciate the transparency cuz the stuff, I mean, you're, you're a pretty tough person and I can see that in your very strong, but the stuff sometimes is still, I mean, it's, it's private and it's personal and it's, it can get touchy.
Adrianna Ebron: Yeah.
Flo Speakman: You know, So thank you for being so. Aww,
Adrianna Ebron: so I made it.
We appreciate you. Thank you, my
Adrianna Ebron: friends. Thank you so much for, for talking Adriana,
Brandy Breth: Bye ladies
Adrianna Ebron: hand.
